Wednesday, March 2, 2011
Tuesday, March 1, 2011
Friday, February 18, 2011
Thursday, February 17th
Today was a great day. Laura continues to figure out how her body responds to what she does and how much rest she needs. She is feeling better every day, and it is so good to have my wife on her way back to normal. She has been so strong through this whole process. She amazes me still.
We got another bit of time together today to just talk without the little ones or paperwork. What a blessing. We spent some time at Origins coffee and ran into a few good friends. Then as we ran a few errands together, we had some great conversations that really forced us to see how God is leading in all of this. I asked a simple quesiton to Laura again today that I really feel like God has laid on my heart. The question is: "How many times do you get an opportunity in your life to start over?" That's how Laura and I feel. All of this has been such a wonderful blessing that we want to make sure that God gets the glory He deserves. We talked about what that will look like moving forward in our lives, and that was a great time with my wife. It has been so good to be home with her. Having the rest of the month to just be together as a family will be such a gift for us all.
As Laura is still taking it easy and waiting until March to really start working again, she could use prayer on how she approaches her "work life" outside of home. She tends to go full speed ahead, and we feel that God is calling her to slow down a bit. And as she continues to rest and seek Him in these next few weeks, she still needs prayer for healing. We are not sure what is going on with the pseudocyst on her pancreas, but we will find out more soon at the next appointment. I am sure we will also get more info on the pancreatitis, so please keep that in prayer as well.
Thanks again, Jason
We got another bit of time together today to just talk without the little ones or paperwork. What a blessing. We spent some time at Origins coffee and ran into a few good friends. Then as we ran a few errands together, we had some great conversations that really forced us to see how God is leading in all of this. I asked a simple quesiton to Laura again today that I really feel like God has laid on my heart. The question is: "How many times do you get an opportunity in your life to start over?" That's how Laura and I feel. All of this has been such a wonderful blessing that we want to make sure that God gets the glory He deserves. We talked about what that will look like moving forward in our lives, and that was a great time with my wife. It has been so good to be home with her. Having the rest of the month to just be together as a family will be such a gift for us all.
As Laura is still taking it easy and waiting until March to really start working again, she could use prayer on how she approaches her "work life" outside of home. She tends to go full speed ahead, and we feel that God is calling her to slow down a bit. And as she continues to rest and seek Him in these next few weeks, she still needs prayer for healing. We are not sure what is going on with the pseudocyst on her pancreas, but we will find out more soon at the next appointment. I am sure we will also get more info on the pancreatitis, so please keep that in prayer as well.
Thanks again, Jason
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
A Few Days Later
Hi everyone; it's Jason. I thought some of you might want to know how Laura is doing.
Slowly but surely Laura is feeling better. She is learning what she can and can't eat and just how much rest she still needs. We managed a few outings, and those were good things for us to do. Laura was determined to make it to church on Saturday and life group on Sunday, and those were sweet moments for us. If we missed some of you or seemed to rush out, we are sorry about that. Laura and I are still getting used to all of the changes and emotions that come with just seeing you all, but it has been so good to see you all and get a hug. We truly appreciate that.
Today was a day of information for Laura. I filled Laura in a little (literally a little) on just how serious her condition was/is. She did not know that she was so sick or that the doctors at one point weren't sure if she was going to make it. So that was an emotional moment for us both. It's almost like experiencing it all over again. Then, she had heard about someone else who passed away and wanted to know what happened. This was the gentleman who passed away from the same thing Laura has or had. That, of course, was terrible timing, but at the same time it helped put things into perspective.
So, things like that are taking awhile. She has slowly started to check some emails and voice messages so that she is not stuck with trying to deal with too much at one time. And she has not yet read anything we've written here in Facebook or the blog. She just asks me to let her know if someone asks for prayer on Facebook, so that's what I do. It sounds like she is going to try and start reading all of my updates soon to get a feel on our life a bit more.
As Laura moves forward she still needs prayer. She needs rest and strength in this journey. The more she learns about the past 3 weeks, the more prayer she will need. As we all know, this was a rough ride, but how all of us managed was prayer; Laura is touched by that. Laura has a couple appointments coming up in a few weeks, so we could use prayer for that as well. Again, thank you so much to all of you who have prayed and helped us out in so many ways. Our family has been so loved by you all, and I can't tell you how much I appreciate it. I am going to do my best to continue to update you all.
Jason
Slowly but surely Laura is feeling better. She is learning what she can and can't eat and just how much rest she still needs. We managed a few outings, and those were good things for us to do. Laura was determined to make it to church on Saturday and life group on Sunday, and those were sweet moments for us. If we missed some of you or seemed to rush out, we are sorry about that. Laura and I are still getting used to all of the changes and emotions that come with just seeing you all, but it has been so good to see you all and get a hug. We truly appreciate that.
Today was a day of information for Laura. I filled Laura in a little (literally a little) on just how serious her condition was/is. She did not know that she was so sick or that the doctors at one point weren't sure if she was going to make it. So that was an emotional moment for us both. It's almost like experiencing it all over again. Then, she had heard about someone else who passed away and wanted to know what happened. This was the gentleman who passed away from the same thing Laura has or had. That, of course, was terrible timing, but at the same time it helped put things into perspective.
So, things like that are taking awhile. She has slowly started to check some emails and voice messages so that she is not stuck with trying to deal with too much at one time. And she has not yet read anything we've written here in Facebook or the blog. She just asks me to let her know if someone asks for prayer on Facebook, so that's what I do. It sounds like she is going to try and start reading all of my updates soon to get a feel on our life a bit more.
As Laura moves forward she still needs prayer. She needs rest and strength in this journey. The more she learns about the past 3 weeks, the more prayer she will need. As we all know, this was a rough ride, but how all of us managed was prayer; Laura is touched by that. Laura has a couple appointments coming up in a few weeks, so we could use prayer for that as well. Again, thank you so much to all of you who have prayed and helped us out in so many ways. Our family has been so loved by you all, and I can't tell you how much I appreciate it. I am going to do my best to continue to update you all.
Jason
Friday, February 11, 2011
Thursday, February 10, 2011
Thursday, February 10th (Evening)
The house has been different for 18 days. Incomplete feeling. Our family was hurting from the separation. Somehow, God knew this would be a blessing. Somehow, He decided to turn this into a beautiful act that He should be glorified for. I am not saying I saw this coming or even enjoyed the ride, but the amount of lives touched by Laura and her strength through her God has been such a masterpiece by Him that I am going to have to look at it for awhile to understand only a little of the work. Yes, Laura is home, and yet that does not at all tell the whole story. Even when I try to describe the night Laura crawled on the floor from pain, or when the doctors weren't sure how this was going to turn out, or when Laura was told over the phone by a friend that "God has already healed you;" none of those things give even a glimpse of the past 2 and a half weeks.
With the journey ending in hugs and tears on the driveway with the kids around 3 o'clock today, it was clear that God only wanted Laura to serve a role in His work. He did not need Laura: He chose her. And that's exactly how she feels. I am typing this right now sitting next to my wife at home. It's a good feeling. I have missed her greatly. I watch her differently than I used to. Now, I am trying to read her more and learn more from her personal experience. She has shared a bit of her story with you guys when she was up to putting in a word doc, only to have me cut and paste it to Facebook. Her reason was simple..."this has been a spiritual retreat for me and I don't want media to get in the way, but I 'd really like to share what's on my heart, what I think God is encouraging me to say."
Laura wrote in a journal right before Christmas that she "...longs to find peace and depth in [her] faith." Her past few weeks have done just that and have encouraged her to share more and be more connected with God's requests from her. I wonder if my faith will look different. It feels different. It seems changed, but is it changed into a faith that God asks for? Not sure. All I know is He has stretched me in a lot of new ways--ways I did not expect--and that's a very good thing. I pray that I will chase Him in deeper ways from this point on. I am grateful for His healing work in Laura's life. Not just making her stronger physically, but spiritually.
I am not sure if I will continue to write here in Facebook every night, but I value all of you for sharing with me the ways this situation has touched you. Thank you for helping, really helping, my family out. You all have shown what real love is and where that love comes from.
My wife is home. Goodnight.
With the journey ending in hugs and tears on the driveway with the kids around 3 o'clock today, it was clear that God only wanted Laura to serve a role in His work. He did not need Laura: He chose her. And that's exactly how she feels. I am typing this right now sitting next to my wife at home. It's a good feeling. I have missed her greatly. I watch her differently than I used to. Now, I am trying to read her more and learn more from her personal experience. She has shared a bit of her story with you guys when she was up to putting in a word doc, only to have me cut and paste it to Facebook. Her reason was simple..."this has been a spiritual retreat for me and I don't want media to get in the way, but I 'd really like to share what's on my heart, what I think God is encouraging me to say."
Laura wrote in a journal right before Christmas that she "...longs to find peace and depth in [her] faith." Her past few weeks have done just that and have encouraged her to share more and be more connected with God's requests from her. I wonder if my faith will look different. It feels different. It seems changed, but is it changed into a faith that God asks for? Not sure. All I know is He has stretched me in a lot of new ways--ways I did not expect--and that's a very good thing. I pray that I will chase Him in deeper ways from this point on. I am grateful for His healing work in Laura's life. Not just making her stronger physically, but spiritually.
I am not sure if I will continue to write here in Facebook every night, but I value all of you for sharing with me the ways this situation has touched you. Thank you for helping, really helping, my family out. You all have shown what real love is and where that love comes from.
My wife is home. Goodnight.
Laura is Going Home Today!
The following is from Laura:
Praise God for his acts of power; praise him for his surpassing greatness. Praise him with the sounding of the trumpet. Praise him with the harp and lyre. Praise him with tambourines and dancing. Let everything that has breath praise the Lord. – Psalm 150
Jason and I are leaving the hospital. I’ll see my kids soon. God is good. Life is sweet.
Thank you for your prayers. My pancreas is still healing. They’ve said the healing will be better served at home as long as I take things slowly.
I’m honored that God chose my family for this experience. God has walked every step of this journey with us, carried us through parts of it, and provided for our every need.
I know I’m not the only one who’s experienced something difficult; I would imagine some of you are going through something right now. I would love to pray for you if you feel comfortable sharing your experience. God wants to meet you in your struggle. He loves you.
I’m not sure what the transition back to real life will entail but I am eager to begin a (re)new(ed) life.
Oh Lord, our Lord how majestic is your name in all the earth. As we lift our voices loud, loud, loud. Oh Lord, our Lord how majestic is your name in all the earth. Clap your hands all you nations and lift shouts of joy.
Praise God for his acts of power; praise him for his surpassing greatness. Praise him with the sounding of the trumpet. Praise him with the harp and lyre. Praise him with tambourines and dancing. Let everything that has breath praise the Lord. – Psalm 150
Jason and I are leaving the hospital. I’ll see my kids soon. God is good. Life is sweet.
Thank you for your prayers. My pancreas is still healing. They’ve said the healing will be better served at home as long as I take things slowly.
I’m honored that God chose my family for this experience. God has walked every step of this journey with us, carried us through parts of it, and provided for our every need.
I know I’m not the only one who’s experienced something difficult; I would imagine some of you are going through something right now. I would love to pray for you if you feel comfortable sharing your experience. God wants to meet you in your struggle. He loves you.
I’m not sure what the transition back to real life will entail but I am eager to begin a (re)new(ed) life.
Oh Lord, our Lord how majestic is your name in all the earth. As we lift our voices loud, loud, loud. Oh Lord, our Lord how majestic is your name in all the earth. Clap your hands all you nations and lift shouts of joy.
Wednesday, February 9th
Today went pretty well. Laura's body seemed to respond properly to the few things she ate and drank. She went from water and cranberry juice to soup and custard today. A different doctor actually told Laura that he was switching her to an all-solid diet this morning, and Laura decided that was too fast and went with what is called a "full liquid diet" for now.
There was a point today when the changes were too much for Laura. It's been such a slow process, so to be told that she is now on solid foods, swallowing any medication instead of through the I.V., no longer getting any pancreas medicine and she is off of antibiotics was more than she could handle today. You would think these would all be good signs, but this is the same doctor that made a lot of changes two weeks ago in one day and Laura got worse. So, we were both a bit nervous about all the changes happening so fast without really being talked to about it. Laura ended up speaking up and telling them that she would prefer a "full liquid" diet and that she would also prefer her pain medication to go through the IV as needed. The nurses were great with those things, but it made for an interesting afternoon.
So, on one of our walks back and forth through the second floor I reminded Laura that at some point she DOES have to not take the pancreas medicine anymore and that God is ultimately in control of her body. She agreed and began to tell me that as she is slowly getting better she feels like she can't hear Him as clearly as she did when she first got to the hospital. This has been heavy on her heart for a few days now, and she is able to be honest with God about how she feels. I know He blesses her with the right people and opportunities when these feelings come up to help strengthen her again. We spent a lot of time talking about her spirit today, and that was really good. Hard, but good. Towards the end of the day she saw Holly, and I know that spending time with Holly produces a fruit that is very sweet in the hearts of both of them. It's really great to witness.
The best news came today when we were told that they are hoping Laura will be home by the end of the week. I can't tell you how that makes me feel. It actually makes me a little nervous and excited--a bit like a first date. But it will be a blessed moment to have Laura see the kids and walk through that door. A Praise that I can't even explain clearly. The road ahead is still unknown, but God has been so good from day one. Laura was told, "God has already healed you" and I certainly agree. It is such a wonderful emotion compared to the realness of the situation 2 weeks ago. You have all played a huge role in this with your prayers and endless support. Please continue to pray for Laura and the kids as we press on through this. Thank you so much!
Jason
There was a point today when the changes were too much for Laura. It's been such a slow process, so to be told that she is now on solid foods, swallowing any medication instead of through the I.V., no longer getting any pancreas medicine and she is off of antibiotics was more than she could handle today. You would think these would all be good signs, but this is the same doctor that made a lot of changes two weeks ago in one day and Laura got worse. So, we were both a bit nervous about all the changes happening so fast without really being talked to about it. Laura ended up speaking up and telling them that she would prefer a "full liquid" diet and that she would also prefer her pain medication to go through the IV as needed. The nurses were great with those things, but it made for an interesting afternoon.
So, on one of our walks back and forth through the second floor I reminded Laura that at some point she DOES have to not take the pancreas medicine anymore and that God is ultimately in control of her body. She agreed and began to tell me that as she is slowly getting better she feels like she can't hear Him as clearly as she did when she first got to the hospital. This has been heavy on her heart for a few days now, and she is able to be honest with God about how she feels. I know He blesses her with the right people and opportunities when these feelings come up to help strengthen her again. We spent a lot of time talking about her spirit today, and that was really good. Hard, but good. Towards the end of the day she saw Holly, and I know that spending time with Holly produces a fruit that is very sweet in the hearts of both of them. It's really great to witness.
The best news came today when we were told that they are hoping Laura will be home by the end of the week. I can't tell you how that makes me feel. It actually makes me a little nervous and excited--a bit like a first date. But it will be a blessed moment to have Laura see the kids and walk through that door. A Praise that I can't even explain clearly. The road ahead is still unknown, but God has been so good from day one. Laura was told, "God has already healed you" and I certainly agree. It is such a wonderful emotion compared to the realness of the situation 2 weeks ago. You have all played a huge role in this with your prayers and endless support. Please continue to pray for Laura and the kids as we press on through this. Thank you so much!
Jason
Tuesday, February 8, 2011
Tuesday, February 8th
After 16 days without even a sip of water, Laura finally was allowed to take a small drink of water today. I am so proud of her. Some of you might remember me saying that I am still impressed by my wife. Well, today I realized that she did not just wait 16 days for water. She rinsed her mouth out after brushing her teeth but did not swallow. She used her little vacuum to suck any excessive amounts of saliva out of her mouth. She considered medicine put into her PIC line in her arm a cool drink a few times a day. All this, while waiting, through strength she wants no credit for. She considers that time a TRUE FAST, which she says she has never done. Yes, my wife still impresses me. I just don't always think to tell her.
Our day was so uneventful until that moment. She had a good night's rest and some great visitors and just rested. She had a scan on her pseudocyst, and we did not get results until Dr. Bosco said it was time to try a liquid diet. Actually, I was on my way out the door tonight when the doctor came in. It's funny how when Dr. Bosco enters the room all conversations stop, and people give him complete attention. He is well-regarded at that hospital, and Laura and I are so grateful that God chose him for Laura. I heard today that Aunt Denny actually prayed for him while he was in the room prior to surgery, and he did not really know how to respond to that. Does not matter. God was going to use him, regardless of what Dr. Bosco had in mind. It reminds me of what Lance used to say to us old Roseville Hope members: "God will oftentimes use us in spite of ourselves."
Back to the cyst...it is smaller and seems to be going away, according to Dr. Bosco. I am fairly certain that all we are waiting for is Laura's body to give the green light on food and liquids. She does still have pain from the surgery, so that is also being monitored.
HERE'S THE THING TO REMEMBER:
How Laura's system responds to all of this is the key to Laura coming home. If she is in pain or has any fluids build up in her stomach (or anywhere else), we could very well take a few steps back again. So tonight is SO important. She even had some broth tonight as well, so we need to cover her in prayer for this. It is a little bit scary for her, because this has been so long and hard. The blessings that have come from this have been amazing, and without a doubt God's total timing, but we both just want to come home together and have our family whole again.
I know my wife well enough to know that there is a bit of nervousness there still. When she asked us to pray before we watched her sip water, I realized that I will never eat or drink anything again in the same way. Laura was grateful for her first sip, not excited and ready to down a glass of water. She was cautious and concerned as she thought about taking a sip of water. But most of all, Laura was thankful to her God for bringing her to that very moment. I could see it in her face, that it was Him who brought her through 384 hours without a trace of fluid in her mouth. It is recommended that an average person drink half their weight in ounces of water per day. So, in 16 days I should have drunk 1,360 ounces of water. Laura took a very small sip, then put down the cup and said, "That's good. It's nice to have something cool go down my throat." I had to ask her to take another drink before I left. She just smiled and said, "I want to take it slow." As if there has been any point of this journey that has been fast!
She does not only still impress me, but she strengthens my faith.
Our day was so uneventful until that moment. She had a good night's rest and some great visitors and just rested. She had a scan on her pseudocyst, and we did not get results until Dr. Bosco said it was time to try a liquid diet. Actually, I was on my way out the door tonight when the doctor came in. It's funny how when Dr. Bosco enters the room all conversations stop, and people give him complete attention. He is well-regarded at that hospital, and Laura and I are so grateful that God chose him for Laura. I heard today that Aunt Denny actually prayed for him while he was in the room prior to surgery, and he did not really know how to respond to that. Does not matter. God was going to use him, regardless of what Dr. Bosco had in mind. It reminds me of what Lance used to say to us old Roseville Hope members: "God will oftentimes use us in spite of ourselves."
Back to the cyst...it is smaller and seems to be going away, according to Dr. Bosco. I am fairly certain that all we are waiting for is Laura's body to give the green light on food and liquids. She does still have pain from the surgery, so that is also being monitored.
HERE'S THE THING TO REMEMBER:
How Laura's system responds to all of this is the key to Laura coming home. If she is in pain or has any fluids build up in her stomach (or anywhere else), we could very well take a few steps back again. So tonight is SO important. She even had some broth tonight as well, so we need to cover her in prayer for this. It is a little bit scary for her, because this has been so long and hard. The blessings that have come from this have been amazing, and without a doubt God's total timing, but we both just want to come home together and have our family whole again.
I know my wife well enough to know that there is a bit of nervousness there still. When she asked us to pray before we watched her sip water, I realized that I will never eat or drink anything again in the same way. Laura was grateful for her first sip, not excited and ready to down a glass of water. She was cautious and concerned as she thought about taking a sip of water. But most of all, Laura was thankful to her God for bringing her to that very moment. I could see it in her face, that it was Him who brought her through 384 hours without a trace of fluid in her mouth. It is recommended that an average person drink half their weight in ounces of water per day. So, in 16 days I should have drunk 1,360 ounces of water. Laura took a very small sip, then put down the cup and said, "That's good. It's nice to have something cool go down my throat." I had to ask her to take another drink before I left. She just smiled and said, "I want to take it slow." As if there has been any point of this journey that has been fast!
She does not only still impress me, but she strengthens my faith.
Medical Details Now Available
For those of you looking for more information on what is medically happening with Laura, click on "Detailed Medical Explanation" at the top of the page. Hope this helps!
-Sarah
-Sarah
Monday, February 7th (Evening)
What a day! Yes, Laura finally had her gallbladder taken out, and the surgery went "perfectly" according to the doctors. Dr. Bosco told me that her gallbladder was "full" of gallstones. Anyhow, it was a good day and that is one less thing to worry about for now. Some of you know that Laura has been dealing with pain from her stomach for years, and we just never put it all together. Hopefully, she will not have those terrible life-altering pains anymore. Praise!
Getting a phone call from Denny in the morning to let me know that today was the day for surgery while I was at home getting the kids ready for the day was a great start. So, once I got to the hospital Aunt Denny was still there from the night shift, and she was gracious enough to wait until I got there. So after a little prayer with Laura and then some more prayer time with Kelly, it was time to go for Laura. That part was a bit strange for me. I waited from 10:30 until almost 2 for her. Finally the doctor told me that everything went well and that she would be back in her room soon.
Once Laura was pushed in to her room she had the usual smile on her face. That was a gift. It reminded me of our wedding day, actually. Guys you remember...the first look at your bride as she walks towards you. It's a joke now in our marriage, but my knees started shaking when I saw her that day. I rarely get nervous, but that day I was very nervous. Anyhow, I had that good feeling again today, though, when she smiled at me. That was the best part of my day. And I am not kidding you when I tell you within 10 minutes Laura wanted to go for a walk, and I actually had to convince her otherwise! Again, I should not have been surprised.
I finally convinced Laura to rest about the same time Holly showed up. Holly started writing, and I watched Laura sleep, which always makes me feel good. She was able to get up and move a bit, and I think she did end up going for a walk after I left later this evening. Anyhow, I am not sure what is in store for tomorrow, but I will most certainly keep you all posted. This process is still not going to end anytime soon. Although Laura is healthier, she still has pancreatitis, so they are not letting her just leave anytime soon. So, as usual, continued prayer for Laura and her spirit through all of this. I can't express enough how grateful we are to all of you for your care, concerns and prayers for our family.
On another note, my heart is heavy for a few people today. Priscilla and Lyndsy. Please lift them up during your time in prayer as well. They are hurting and need us to hold their arms up for them so they can continue to battle.
Lyndsy, again I am so sorry for what is happening right now in your family, but please know that you have a whole other family just wanting the opportunity to bless you in your time of need. Please don't hesitate to ask our church community for help or comfort through prayer.
Priscilla, the same goes for you. I am not sure if you were able to get the scan at the hospital tonight, but I pray that the doctors will be able to find something new to help you. Again, please do not hesitate to ask for help and know that we will be praying for you.
Sincerely,
Jason
Getting a phone call from Denny in the morning to let me know that today was the day for surgery while I was at home getting the kids ready for the day was a great start. So, once I got to the hospital Aunt Denny was still there from the night shift, and she was gracious enough to wait until I got there. So after a little prayer with Laura and then some more prayer time with Kelly, it was time to go for Laura. That part was a bit strange for me. I waited from 10:30 until almost 2 for her. Finally the doctor told me that everything went well and that she would be back in her room soon.
Once Laura was pushed in to her room she had the usual smile on her face. That was a gift. It reminded me of our wedding day, actually. Guys you remember...the first look at your bride as she walks towards you. It's a joke now in our marriage, but my knees started shaking when I saw her that day. I rarely get nervous, but that day I was very nervous. Anyhow, I had that good feeling again today, though, when she smiled at me. That was the best part of my day. And I am not kidding you when I tell you within 10 minutes Laura wanted to go for a walk, and I actually had to convince her otherwise! Again, I should not have been surprised.
I finally convinced Laura to rest about the same time Holly showed up. Holly started writing, and I watched Laura sleep, which always makes me feel good. She was able to get up and move a bit, and I think she did end up going for a walk after I left later this evening. Anyhow, I am not sure what is in store for tomorrow, but I will most certainly keep you all posted. This process is still not going to end anytime soon. Although Laura is healthier, she still has pancreatitis, so they are not letting her just leave anytime soon. So, as usual, continued prayer for Laura and her spirit through all of this. I can't express enough how grateful we are to all of you for your care, concerns and prayers for our family.
On another note, my heart is heavy for a few people today. Priscilla and Lyndsy. Please lift them up during your time in prayer as well. They are hurting and need us to hold their arms up for them so they can continue to battle.
Lyndsy, again I am so sorry for what is happening right now in your family, but please know that you have a whole other family just wanting the opportunity to bless you in your time of need. Please don't hesitate to ask our church community for help or comfort through prayer.
Priscilla, the same goes for you. I am not sure if you were able to get the scan at the hospital tonight, but I pray that the doctors will be able to find something new to help you. Again, please do not hesitate to ask for help and know that we will be praying for you.
Sincerely,
Jason
Monday, February 7, 2011
Monday, February 7th (Morning)
Urgent news: Surgery is scheduled for 11am this morning. Please pray over the hands of the surgeon and nurses, as well as all other medical staff involved; comfort and health for Laura; and peace for the family waiting for her in the waiting room and elsewhere. I will update when news is available.
-Sarah Kenney
-Sarah Kenney
Sunday, February 6th (Evening)
Most of you already know that Laura did not have her gallbladder removed today. Her pancreas levels were too high, so the doctors held off. Laura and I talked about the possibility of that happening on Friday, and it did not matter. Laura was crushed. She is tired. She wants to see the kids (who are still sick). At this point, a drink would be only a small plus if she were going home. Janice was there to get the news this morning; Laura cried and then found herself wanting to be refreshed and picked up by God. So, that's what she spent most of the day doing. Crying and seeking God. Not for answers, but for closeness. That type of closeness that feels intimate. She understands His timing on all of this will be exactly how He chooses, but the waiting is hard--when your hopes go up, it's even harder.
To fight that spiritual battle with her today were some great friends and family members. Bethany, Nicole, Debbie, Laurie, and Joanne: You guys all helped to stand in the gap for Laura toda,y and I know that all of us appreciate your time today. Janice, Holly, Jan, Brent, Denny, George, Joan, and Fred: I appreciate your hearts in all of this. You are all so dedicated to Laura, and it means a lot to me that we would be surrounded by love.
Tomorrow will be another new day with God granting us more patience. The way I see it is He could end this whole thing at any moment, not just Laura, but all of us, and yet He continues to allow us to try and figure this thing out. Why He would be so willing to give us more time is beyond me. So, I have to think that it is our job to make the most of it. He has certainly used Laura in this situation. I hear people saying outside of her room, "That girl is so sweet and she never asks for anything. She is always asking us how we are..." and so on. You get the point. God is moving in all aspects of this, and I know that He will continue to do so.
I ask that you all continue to seek God in this time and please stand in the gap for Laura. She needs strength and endurance. The kids need prayer as well, and I know that I am not as easy going with them as usual, so I guess we could all use the prayer. I will let you all know in the morning what the latest is. Thanks again to all of you for supporting us through this.
To fight that spiritual battle with her today were some great friends and family members. Bethany, Nicole, Debbie, Laurie, and Joanne: You guys all helped to stand in the gap for Laura toda,y and I know that all of us appreciate your time today. Janice, Holly, Jan, Brent, Denny, George, Joan, and Fred: I appreciate your hearts in all of this. You are all so dedicated to Laura, and it means a lot to me that we would be surrounded by love.
Tomorrow will be another new day with God granting us more patience. The way I see it is He could end this whole thing at any moment, not just Laura, but all of us, and yet He continues to allow us to try and figure this thing out. Why He would be so willing to give us more time is beyond me. So, I have to think that it is our job to make the most of it. He has certainly used Laura in this situation. I hear people saying outside of her room, "That girl is so sweet and she never asks for anything. She is always asking us how we are..." and so on. You get the point. God is moving in all aspects of this, and I know that He will continue to do so.
I ask that you all continue to seek God in this time and please stand in the gap for Laura. She needs strength and endurance. The kids need prayer as well, and I know that I am not as easy going with them as usual, so I guess we could all use the prayer. I will let you all know in the morning what the latest is. Thanks again to all of you for supporting us through this.
Sunday, February 6, 2011
Saturday, February 5th
Today was a good day all around. In case you have not heard, Laura's white blood cell count did go down dramatically, and she had no fever. Also, the doctor described her pancreas as "smoldering." Basically, they feel her pancreas is cooling down slowly but surely. So, if all of the results look good tomorrow morning, then she will most likely have her gallbladder removed tomorrow. The doctor told Laura, "I see no reason why we can't schedule your gallbladder surgery." Of course there is always a catch...believe it or not, there is a debate over which doctor will be performing the surgery. Dr. Bosco, who we feel like has been the best person so far, wants to do the surgery but does not work Sunday. Dr. Freidlander, who has performed surgery on me twice, IS available tomorrow. Anyhow, Laura and I feel peaceful about either (although we lean towards Dr. Bosco!)
That was pretty much it for the day. All of the news we were waiting for came early, then Laura and I got to just talk more. We have fallen in to a groove of spending the first few hours just talking. I've learned how to listen better through this, that's for sure. And she still has a way of asking the right questions to me to make me talk. You know, the questions you hope that people won't ask. That's my wife. She finds those questions and loves watching me try and figure out how to answer them. We had a good morning. Spent some time in prayer. I watched her sleep for a bit, then left for lunch. I still find a lot of comfort in watching her sleep. I like to know she feels comfortable enough to relax. Watching her helps make me peaceful.
The day continued with a few visitors. She spent some time with Holly, which is always good. They always tell me to stay and sing with them or read with them, but I really feel like they need that time together. There is something about their time that I admire and hope continues outside of the hospital. So, I was able to go to church during that time, and it was a blessing to see so many of you there. Thank you for coming up to me and talking to me about Laura. It feels good to just fill some of you in face to face. The true concern for Laura shows in your expressions and I really appreciate that. While I was at church, some of Laura's college friends from Simpson came by. I am told 10 or 12 girls came, but all I know is that I love you all for taking the time to do that. It means a ton to Laura to get to see all of you, and she said you all prayed together. Amen! I know some of you have strayed a bit in your walk and so my question is simply: Why? It matters to Laura that you all love God and chase after Him. Please spend some time trying to reconnect with your God. He is so ready to welcome you home. Laura and I talked about a committed time of prayer for all of you, so know that if you need anything we would love to love on you.
Anyhow, tomorrow is another important day in this process. Please be praying for the lab results again. We should know fairly early if Laura will be having surgery tomorrow. I will text out an update as soon as I know. Also, thanks again to everyone for providing meals for us today and investing into the kids. It touches my heart to know that Kaitlyn and Kaden are lifted up to our God in our lives. Thank you.
Finally, Laura really wanted me to send the lyrics of a song out to you all so here you go....
My soul finds rest in God alone. My rock and my salvation...
A fortress strong against my foes and I will not be shaken.
Though lips my bless and hearts my curse, and lies like arrows pierce me,
I'll fix my heart on righteousness. I'll look to him who hears me.
oh praise Him hallelujah, my delights and my reward.
Everlasting, Never failing my redeemer my God.
Find rest my soul in God alone, amid the worlds temptations.
When evil comes to take a hold, I'll cling to my salvation.
When riches come and riches go don't set you heart upon,
the fields of hope in which I sow, are harvested in heaven.
I'll set my gaze on God alone, and trust in Him completely,
with everyday pour out my soul and He will prove his mercy.
Though life is but a fleeting breath. a sigh to break a measure,
my King has crushed the curse of death and I am his forever!
Oh praise him hallelujah, my delight and my reward, everlasting never failing my redeemer my God.
That was pretty much it for the day. All of the news we were waiting for came early, then Laura and I got to just talk more. We have fallen in to a groove of spending the first few hours just talking. I've learned how to listen better through this, that's for sure. And she still has a way of asking the right questions to me to make me talk. You know, the questions you hope that people won't ask. That's my wife. She finds those questions and loves watching me try and figure out how to answer them. We had a good morning. Spent some time in prayer. I watched her sleep for a bit, then left for lunch. I still find a lot of comfort in watching her sleep. I like to know she feels comfortable enough to relax. Watching her helps make me peaceful.
The day continued with a few visitors. She spent some time with Holly, which is always good. They always tell me to stay and sing with them or read with them, but I really feel like they need that time together. There is something about their time that I admire and hope continues outside of the hospital. So, I was able to go to church during that time, and it was a blessing to see so many of you there. Thank you for coming up to me and talking to me about Laura. It feels good to just fill some of you in face to face. The true concern for Laura shows in your expressions and I really appreciate that. While I was at church, some of Laura's college friends from Simpson came by. I am told 10 or 12 girls came, but all I know is that I love you all for taking the time to do that. It means a ton to Laura to get to see all of you, and she said you all prayed together. Amen! I know some of you have strayed a bit in your walk and so my question is simply: Why? It matters to Laura that you all love God and chase after Him. Please spend some time trying to reconnect with your God. He is so ready to welcome you home. Laura and I talked about a committed time of prayer for all of you, so know that if you need anything we would love to love on you.
Anyhow, tomorrow is another important day in this process. Please be praying for the lab results again. We should know fairly early if Laura will be having surgery tomorrow. I will text out an update as soon as I know. Also, thanks again to everyone for providing meals for us today and investing into the kids. It touches my heart to know that Kaitlyn and Kaden are lifted up to our God in our lives. Thank you.
Finally, Laura really wanted me to send the lyrics of a song out to you all so here you go....
My soul finds rest in God alone. My rock and my salvation...
A fortress strong against my foes and I will not be shaken.
Though lips my bless and hearts my curse, and lies like arrows pierce me,
I'll fix my heart on righteousness. I'll look to him who hears me.
oh praise Him hallelujah, my delights and my reward.
Everlasting, Never failing my redeemer my God.
Find rest my soul in God alone, amid the worlds temptations.
When evil comes to take a hold, I'll cling to my salvation.
When riches come and riches go don't set you heart upon,
the fields of hope in which I sow, are harvested in heaven.
I'll set my gaze on God alone, and trust in Him completely,
with everyday pour out my soul and He will prove his mercy.
Though life is but a fleeting breath. a sigh to break a measure,
my King has crushed the curse of death and I am his forever!
Oh praise him hallelujah, my delight and my reward, everlasting never failing my redeemer my God.
Saturday, February 5, 2011
Friday, February 4th (Evening)
Hi everyone. I wanted to get this out as early as possible, because tomorrow is a big day. Her gallbladder surgery is riding on the lab results over the next two mornings. If all is headed in the right direction, the doctor will remove her gallbladder on Sunday. I don't know what the chances of the surgery actually happening are, but I know Laura is a little nervous about the results tomorrow and Sunday. Please pray for rest for her and her spirit. She is doing an amazing job of running to God with her concerns, but this whole situation has just been so hard. The growth has been amazing, but it certainly has not been easy.
So, that's how the day started--with news that Laura's white blood cells did not look as good as the last few days. And,she also ran another fever late yesterday so that is concerning as well. She still has pancreatitis, but it is minor. It sounds like the doctors will be sending her home with the cyst on her pancreas, because they are expecting it to dissolve on its own. So that was good news. Basically, Laura could be home next week, but as we have learned the last two weeks, that timing can change at any moment.
Laura had a great time with her sister and Rebecca last night (actually too good...she slept most of the day!) and is looking forward to more quality time with Rebekah Fox tonight. Our day today was very restful, even with the bad news. She continues to be peaceful and push me in my faith at the same time. She asked that I bring my guitar today so I could play some worship for/with her. That was a really sweet time with my wife. I wasn't sure how that would go over in a hospital, but it was amazing. I played at two different times throughout the day, and both times were really special for me. Don't get me wrong: I'm really not very good yet, but Laura and I worshiped like there was no one else in the building. It was an experience I will never forget. I must not have been that bad, because she asked me to bring my guitar again tomorrow!
I want to keep tonight short and ask you to please be in prayer for Laura throughout the weekend. She wants to read a few encouraging posts about prayer, so please share your honest thoughts with her. She has yet to read any of these posts but really wants to be encouraged by you all. And of course, she wants to invest in to all of your lives as well.
Thank you for all of your prayers.
Jason and Laura
So, that's how the day started--with news that Laura's white blood cells did not look as good as the last few days. And,she also ran another fever late yesterday so that is concerning as well. She still has pancreatitis, but it is minor. It sounds like the doctors will be sending her home with the cyst on her pancreas, because they are expecting it to dissolve on its own. So that was good news. Basically, Laura could be home next week, but as we have learned the last two weeks, that timing can change at any moment.
Laura had a great time with her sister and Rebecca last night (actually too good...she slept most of the day!) and is looking forward to more quality time with Rebekah Fox tonight. Our day today was very restful, even with the bad news. She continues to be peaceful and push me in my faith at the same time. She asked that I bring my guitar today so I could play some worship for/with her. That was a really sweet time with my wife. I wasn't sure how that would go over in a hospital, but it was amazing. I played at two different times throughout the day, and both times were really special for me. Don't get me wrong: I'm really not very good yet, but Laura and I worshiped like there was no one else in the building. It was an experience I will never forget. I must not have been that bad, because she asked me to bring my guitar again tomorrow!
I want to keep tonight short and ask you to please be in prayer for Laura throughout the weekend. She wants to read a few encouraging posts about prayer, so please share your honest thoughts with her. She has yet to read any of these posts but really wants to be encouraged by you all. And of course, she wants to invest in to all of your lives as well.
Thank you for all of your prayers.
Jason and Laura
Friday, February 4, 2011
Thursday, February 3rd
Today was pretty uneventful. The news was pretty much the same from the start of the day. Laura is a little better, and they are still keeping close tabs on the cyst on her pancreas. Basically, they are trying to wait long enough for Laura's body to desolve the cyst on its own, rather than operate to remove it. The doctors would like to see the cyst gone before they remove her gallbladder. I'm not sure if they can do both at the same time if they did open her up, but they are trying to avoid that. Her white blood cell count continues to improve, so the doctors are hoping that just waiting long enough will dissolve the cyst. And her temp. has been great for a few days, so they are encouraged by that as well. The only thing that continues to be difficult with the healing process is the amount of time. It is still a mystery to us. We honestly have no idea how long Laura will be there. There are moments of peace in the abundance of time we have together though. Lots of talks and prayer, and our walks are the highlight of my days.
It's an entertaining thing to be walking the halls of the hospital with Laura and have someone that only saw her when she first got there. They all respond as if she should not look as good as she does. She smiles at them and is quick to ask them how their kids are. It is fun to watch a doctor or nurse not know how to respond to a simple question. You can ask them to tell you exactly what is wrong with Laura and they will descirbe every painful detail, but if you ask them how they are doing they kind of stumble a bit. It is a testament to Laura's peace and her gifts. People. Plain and simple. Invest in others. Care about others. She does that, and I admire her for those qualities. God has really moved in this time in our lives, and Laura is making it count.
The issue surrounding Laura is time and healing. How long will it take to walk out of there? When will she be considered healthy again (of course Laura just wants to know when she can go for a run again)? And with all of the questions about time, she is now wondering how long her commitment to fasting, praying, singing, reading, solitude and worshipping will last? We are now at the end of 11 days without anything to eat or drink. She told me today that even seeing a straw is hard. She so desperately wants something cool to drink. Today, during one of her many shots in to her PIC line, I saw Laura closing her eyes and she had a strange look on her face. An expression I had not seen so far through this trial. So, I asked, "Are you okay?" She said, "Yes, I like it when they give me shots in the PIC line, because it's cold and I can feel it through my arm. It's the closest thing to a drink I can get." That was a bit strange to hear but also really crushed me. My wife looks forward to shots because they can slightly quench her thirst. As a husband in this situation, I can hold her hand, pat her head, sing with her, read to her, pray with her, help her move around and walk with her, I can even serve her heart, but I can't quench her thirst. She does not know it but that moment today was very difficult for me. It showed me another way that only God can accomplish these things. And, the best part is...Laura fully expects Him to. That is a great faith. A deep faith that I don't believe I have. It may seem like her only option right now, but her actions speak volumes to me every day.
I wanted to also share a bit about our two children, Kaitlyn and Kaden. They are so blessed by you all, and it really means a lot to me that they know they have so many people in their lives that care about them. Through this whole ordeal they have been loved on in a huge way by you all, but they are still just kids and they are showing some wear with all of this. I have noticed that they are having a few difficult moments now. Mostly emotional moments. Today, in the middle of rough housing (a classic Frederick game), Kaitlyn stopped in the middle of me attacking her, and she started to cry. She said she really misses mommy and wanted to know when she was coming home. I have traveled a lot for my business over the years, so Kaitlyn does okay when I'm gone but she has never gone more than a few days without Laura. Please continue to pray for their little spirits. They don't get all of this stuff, and all they know is mommy is sick. Their lives have been filled with joy through all of this because of the efforts you have all made but they just miss mom. So do I.
J.P.
It's an entertaining thing to be walking the halls of the hospital with Laura and have someone that only saw her when she first got there. They all respond as if she should not look as good as she does. She smiles at them and is quick to ask them how their kids are. It is fun to watch a doctor or nurse not know how to respond to a simple question. You can ask them to tell you exactly what is wrong with Laura and they will descirbe every painful detail, but if you ask them how they are doing they kind of stumble a bit. It is a testament to Laura's peace and her gifts. People. Plain and simple. Invest in others. Care about others. She does that, and I admire her for those qualities. God has really moved in this time in our lives, and Laura is making it count.
The issue surrounding Laura is time and healing. How long will it take to walk out of there? When will she be considered healthy again (of course Laura just wants to know when she can go for a run again)? And with all of the questions about time, she is now wondering how long her commitment to fasting, praying, singing, reading, solitude and worshipping will last? We are now at the end of 11 days without anything to eat or drink. She told me today that even seeing a straw is hard. She so desperately wants something cool to drink. Today, during one of her many shots in to her PIC line, I saw Laura closing her eyes and she had a strange look on her face. An expression I had not seen so far through this trial. So, I asked, "Are you okay?" She said, "Yes, I like it when they give me shots in the PIC line, because it's cold and I can feel it through my arm. It's the closest thing to a drink I can get." That was a bit strange to hear but also really crushed me. My wife looks forward to shots because they can slightly quench her thirst. As a husband in this situation, I can hold her hand, pat her head, sing with her, read to her, pray with her, help her move around and walk with her, I can even serve her heart, but I can't quench her thirst. She does not know it but that moment today was very difficult for me. It showed me another way that only God can accomplish these things. And, the best part is...Laura fully expects Him to. That is a great faith. A deep faith that I don't believe I have. It may seem like her only option right now, but her actions speak volumes to me every day.
I wanted to also share a bit about our two children, Kaitlyn and Kaden. They are so blessed by you all, and it really means a lot to me that they know they have so many people in their lives that care about them. Through this whole ordeal they have been loved on in a huge way by you all, but they are still just kids and they are showing some wear with all of this. I have noticed that they are having a few difficult moments now. Mostly emotional moments. Today, in the middle of rough housing (a classic Frederick game), Kaitlyn stopped in the middle of me attacking her, and she started to cry. She said she really misses mommy and wanted to know when she was coming home. I have traveled a lot for my business over the years, so Kaitlyn does okay when I'm gone but she has never gone more than a few days without Laura. Please continue to pray for their little spirits. They don't get all of this stuff, and all they know is mommy is sick. Their lives have been filled with joy through all of this because of the efforts you have all made but they just miss mom. So do I.
J.P.
Thursday, February 3, 2011
Wednesday, February 2nd (Evening)
"I will bless them and the places surrounding my hill. I will send down showers in season; there will be showers of blessing."
Ezekiel 34:26
I will get to the updates on Laura's health, but I wanted you all to know that you have made community come alive in my family. The scripture above is written in a leather-bound book on the bookcase in our family room, and I call it our Blessing Book. It has notes and letters of moments when God has really moved in an amazing way to bless our home. In my quiet time this morning I realized that when this whole thing is over I will write about one of the scarest times in my life in our Blessing Book. Laura said today, "What have we done to deserve this type of honor?" I really don't have an answer for her, but I can say that I have seen the fruit of His community and it is truly an honor to be blessed by God through His people. With a very humble and sincere heart...thank you. Laura and I are stronger today than we were 10 days ago because of the role you have all played in this.
So, trying to hold back my excitement I will tell you that Laura is really good. White blood cells looked better today, and she continues to pursue her new ministry in her new room. I did not get a chance to talk with the doctors today (part of the bummer of leaving the truma unit), but from what Laura told me all signs continue to point towards complete healing. And no fever last night, so that is a good sign as well. Believe it or not the good news is a bit hard for both of us, because this is how we felt Saturday night--only to find out Sunday she was worse. There is most certainly some nervousness there, but we know we are in Good hands.
The next few days probably won't change much. She should continue to get a little better at a time, and at some point they will remove her gallbladder. And we have not even had a talk with the doctors about the surgery yet, so we figure we are still a ways out on that. To top it off, because of everything Laura has gone through, she will have to stay AT LEAST 2 days after the gallbladder is removed. Typically people go home the same day, but not in this family! So, Laura is still woken up very early for tests and all that stuff and then waits through the morning for results on if she is better or not. It's gotten to the point where her arm and fingers are black-and-blue from all of the needles. She says she is so used to it now that she can just carry on a conversation through it.
We had some great talks today. It's a bit scary for us both, but we talked about life outside of the hospital for maybe only the second time. It's really odd to walk by all the windows with her, knowing that she wants out. But she seems so peaceful in her moment; it strengthens me. She just keeps walking at a fast pace until we reach the end of another hallway, and then she turns around and starts over. Kind of like Forest Gump running to the end of a coast and then just deciding that he may as well start over again. My point here is Laura is amazing. She is so peaceful. Sure things are hard, but she seems to be right in the center of His will and KNOWS it. It's a beautiful thing to watch.
Kaitlyn, our daughter, has fallen in love with a song called "Beautiful Things" by Gungor. She asked me today if I would make sure mommy memorizes the song so they can sing it together when she comes home. So I played it for Laura. She really cried. She loved it. Not just because is was from Kaitlyn, but because she felt like it accurately descibes her life. In this year of worship, my family has already connected with songs like "Beautiful Things" and turned them in to themes for our family. As I have told you before, music is a powerful thing for all four of us in our own way. Last night Kaden could not sleep, so I told him to try and sing a few worship songs he knows and that might help him. It worked well, but not before I heard, "Our God, is an awesome God, He reigns from heaven above with..." This time I cried. I realize he is only three, but the idea that he has not seen his mom in 10 days and he found peace in worshiping was great. I loved that moment and so did Laura.
I spent time with a few different people today that just really encourage me. Thank you Casey and Lance. Also, I did not mention it yesterday, but the people involved in cleaning my house are amazing! You all have made it better to come home to a house - even if it is with one less person. I can not tell you how much I appreciate you all. The dog run was even clean! And thanks to so many people, even helping out with the 3 dogs by walking them or running our husky. Everthing matters to us so much, and we still are so amazed by how much you are all doing. I would like to say one thing along those lines though...if you know of someone who is helping us out, please continue to offer help to those people. They sacrifice greatly, and I would love to see them blessed in this as well.
I look forward to tomorrow. Sincerely, J.P.
Ezekiel 34:26
I will get to the updates on Laura's health, but I wanted you all to know that you have made community come alive in my family. The scripture above is written in a leather-bound book on the bookcase in our family room, and I call it our Blessing Book. It has notes and letters of moments when God has really moved in an amazing way to bless our home. In my quiet time this morning I realized that when this whole thing is over I will write about one of the scarest times in my life in our Blessing Book. Laura said today, "What have we done to deserve this type of honor?" I really don't have an answer for her, but I can say that I have seen the fruit of His community and it is truly an honor to be blessed by God through His people. With a very humble and sincere heart...thank you. Laura and I are stronger today than we were 10 days ago because of the role you have all played in this.
So, trying to hold back my excitement I will tell you that Laura is really good. White blood cells looked better today, and she continues to pursue her new ministry in her new room. I did not get a chance to talk with the doctors today (part of the bummer of leaving the truma unit), but from what Laura told me all signs continue to point towards complete healing. And no fever last night, so that is a good sign as well. Believe it or not the good news is a bit hard for both of us, because this is how we felt Saturday night--only to find out Sunday she was worse. There is most certainly some nervousness there, but we know we are in Good hands.
The next few days probably won't change much. She should continue to get a little better at a time, and at some point they will remove her gallbladder. And we have not even had a talk with the doctors about the surgery yet, so we figure we are still a ways out on that. To top it off, because of everything Laura has gone through, she will have to stay AT LEAST 2 days after the gallbladder is removed. Typically people go home the same day, but not in this family! So, Laura is still woken up very early for tests and all that stuff and then waits through the morning for results on if she is better or not. It's gotten to the point where her arm and fingers are black-and-blue from all of the needles. She says she is so used to it now that she can just carry on a conversation through it.
We had some great talks today. It's a bit scary for us both, but we talked about life outside of the hospital for maybe only the second time. It's really odd to walk by all the windows with her, knowing that she wants out. But she seems so peaceful in her moment; it strengthens me. She just keeps walking at a fast pace until we reach the end of another hallway, and then she turns around and starts over. Kind of like Forest Gump running to the end of a coast and then just deciding that he may as well start over again. My point here is Laura is amazing. She is so peaceful. Sure things are hard, but she seems to be right in the center of His will and KNOWS it. It's a beautiful thing to watch.
Kaitlyn, our daughter, has fallen in love with a song called "Beautiful Things" by Gungor. She asked me today if I would make sure mommy memorizes the song so they can sing it together when she comes home. So I played it for Laura. She really cried. She loved it. Not just because is was from Kaitlyn, but because she felt like it accurately descibes her life. In this year of worship, my family has already connected with songs like "Beautiful Things" and turned them in to themes for our family. As I have told you before, music is a powerful thing for all four of us in our own way. Last night Kaden could not sleep, so I told him to try and sing a few worship songs he knows and that might help him. It worked well, but not before I heard, "Our God, is an awesome God, He reigns from heaven above with..." This time I cried. I realize he is only three, but the idea that he has not seen his mom in 10 days and he found peace in worshiping was great. I loved that moment and so did Laura.
I spent time with a few different people today that just really encourage me. Thank you Casey and Lance. Also, I did not mention it yesterday, but the people involved in cleaning my house are amazing! You all have made it better to come home to a house - even if it is with one less person. I can not tell you how much I appreciate you all. The dog run was even clean! And thanks to so many people, even helping out with the 3 dogs by walking them or running our husky. Everthing matters to us so much, and we still are so amazed by how much you are all doing. I would like to say one thing along those lines though...if you know of someone who is helping us out, please continue to offer help to those people. They sacrifice greatly, and I would love to see them blessed in this as well.
I look forward to tomorrow. Sincerely, J.P.
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
Wednesday, February 2nd (Morning)
Hey guys, Laura wanted to update you guys this morning herself. Plese continue to pray for her. We are having a good start today but we still have no timetable set before us. Thanks, Jason.
"Wait for the Lord. Be strong and let your heart take courage. Yes, wait for the Lord." - Psalm 24:17
I always thought patience was difficult (like a punishment); something to practice only if you had to.
Now I can hear God asking me to be patient and, unlike before, I'm saying, "Okay Father, I trust you."
Through this experience I've learned that engaging with patience when (and for how long) he asks, means I get to travel the road of patience far enough to see its fruit. Praise Jesus that the fruit is plentiful!
I now understand that God asks me to be patient because he knows the circumstances of my tomorrow that wouldn't be ready if I jumped off the patience train today.
Your continued prayers are appreciated. The white blood cell count is going back down. My temperature has been normal for the past 24 hours. There have been other points of progress. Please continue to ask our Great Physician to calm my pancreas; I'm convinced His Hands are working on that part of my body as we wait patiently.
Also, pray for my momma's heart as I long for my kids.
I pray for each of you that God may refresh your spirits during this season of serving. And that you would hear him and respond to him today. No matter your circumstances, he cares for you deeply and is at work in your life.--Laura
"Wait for the Lord. Be strong and let your heart take courage. Yes, wait for the Lord." - Psalm 24:17
I always thought patience was difficult (like a punishment); something to practice only if you had to.
Now I can hear God asking me to be patient and, unlike before, I'm saying, "Okay Father, I trust you."
Through this experience I've learned that engaging with patience when (and for how long) he asks, means I get to travel the road of patience far enough to see its fruit. Praise Jesus that the fruit is plentiful!
I now understand that God asks me to be patient because he knows the circumstances of my tomorrow that wouldn't be ready if I jumped off the patience train today.
Your continued prayers are appreciated. The white blood cell count is going back down. My temperature has been normal for the past 24 hours. There have been other points of progress. Please continue to ask our Great Physician to calm my pancreas; I'm convinced His Hands are working on that part of my body as we wait patiently.
Also, pray for my momma's heart as I long for my kids.
I pray for each of you that God may refresh your spirits during this season of serving. And that you would hear him and respond to him today. No matter your circumstances, he cares for you deeply and is at work in your life.--Laura
Tuesday, February 1st
Hello to you all. Today was a good day overall. I know Laura was exhausted from all of the things that went on today. It started out bright and early as normal for her. Every day the doctors and nurses come and get Laura around 4:30 a.m and take her to have some scans, xrays, blood work, tests...etc. You name it, it's done between 4:30 and 5 a.m.
Now, leading up to this many of you have been woken up from your sleep between 3 a.m. and 5 a.m. That just so happens to be Laura's worst sleep and she tends to be in a bit of pain around then, so please keep praying for her when you are suddenly wide awake between 3 and 5. She still needs our prayers.
Once I got there, the doctor was not far behind to fill us in on the results. Today was very much like yesterday in that her white blood cells have increased again, but Dr. Bosco was going to make a few changes with Laura to "chase" the problem. And, he does not like the fact that every night so far Laura's temperature jumps up suddenly. So, his first solution was to take her off of the antibiotics again. He says that sometimes the antibiotic that Laura is on can give a "confused" white blood cell result. So, in order to limit that he has decided to stop that antibiotic. Laura did not mention it to me but I could tell she was a bit nervous about it. This was the same thing that they did a few nights ago and she got worse. She later told Holly that she was a bit scared about it but that she trusted her God to comfort her. Next, Dr. Bosco said that he was also going to take her off of the pump version of the pancreas medicine (octreotide) and switch her to shots in the leg. Laura was not thrilled about this either. He also wanted to replace her PIC line today just to make sure it wasn't contributing to any misreadings on the lab results everyday. Her PIC line goes in thorugh her arm and drops down in to her chest and it has many functions. It can feed her and they can draw blood from it. So, it's an important piece for someone who hasn't drank anything or eaten anything for 9 days. Finally the doctor did say she would actually be moved today and she WAS! Of course that brought on a little tension as well, because in the trauma unit Laura is very close to the most advanced equipment; she was one of only 3 people in that area, so she was given a lot of close attention. Please pray for her with this because, as I have shared, she was very comfortable with the team in the trauma unit.
Once our meeting with Dr. Bosco was over, it was non-stop people and tests with poking and moving until 3 p.m. Finally, she was left alone and in her new room. I was hoping that her and Holly could just rest but Laura could not. She just never reached that deep sleep that she needed. She needs rest, so that is a prayer as well. She also decided to no longer take any pain medication for a few different reasons. First, she kind of started to want it and second, she was relying on it for sleep. She would rather rest next to her Lord. She had a great vision today of that but I will not share those details with you all; it was very sweet though! With all of that going on Laura still managed to shine a bit on her new nurses and they seemed to like being around her. I have not seen a nurse yet get out of that room without Laura knowing sometihng about them. It's pretty fun to watch. That's Laura in action. Her gifts being used...people, listening, caring.
Overall, Laura is getting better. Slowly. Very slowly. That just is not the pace in the Frederick house! So it's really hard for Laura--at least I get some breaks from that place. Our walk today was awesome. She was so moved by all of the things going on around us. It makes us both ask, "Why?" Why us? A ton of people are hurting or have been hurting. I really did not have an answer. All I know is you all have moved my family into a place of rest and peace in the middle of some very difficult times. I know God is using you all to bless us, and for that I am so humbled and grateful. I would love to share more of my day with Laura with you all but instead Laura wanted to share a few things that she wrote today...
From Laura.
There are a few thoughts on my heart today. 1) There is no way we can fathom the power of our God. When you pray you are sharing your heart with a Being who extends beyond what our minds could ever comprehend. Don’t let your fears make you forget how big he is! 2) Sometimes he allows us the privilege of seeing the work he is doing in our lives. But sometimes we don’t have visibility to that work. His loving hands never stop shaping us. Offer praise even when you don’t see the fruit (yet). 3) I’ve never fasted. I like my comforts. This has been a forced fast. However, even now there are ways I could compromise. Even in the case of a forced fast there were still ways to find loop holes. I've had to trust God to meet me in the fast and release my will, so I could connect with him in it so it would be a full fast. God has slowly taught me to look to him for satisfaction of hunger and thirst. He has met me in this fast. I can hear him more clearly. It’s a sweet place to be! The parts that I hear about how people are serving, helping, loving, praying. I’m hearing how each person is serving in their own strengths. It just blows me away that the Body is alive and moving. It’s such an amazing thing to hear about. We don’t even know how many people are being touched and changed through this. Keep pressing in to God. I look forward to the time when I can join with you in serving and in asking God to direct my heart to fill the needs of those around me.
Now, leading up to this many of you have been woken up from your sleep between 3 a.m. and 5 a.m. That just so happens to be Laura's worst sleep and she tends to be in a bit of pain around then, so please keep praying for her when you are suddenly wide awake between 3 and 5. She still needs our prayers.
Once I got there, the doctor was not far behind to fill us in on the results. Today was very much like yesterday in that her white blood cells have increased again, but Dr. Bosco was going to make a few changes with Laura to "chase" the problem. And, he does not like the fact that every night so far Laura's temperature jumps up suddenly. So, his first solution was to take her off of the antibiotics again. He says that sometimes the antibiotic that Laura is on can give a "confused" white blood cell result. So, in order to limit that he has decided to stop that antibiotic. Laura did not mention it to me but I could tell she was a bit nervous about it. This was the same thing that they did a few nights ago and she got worse. She later told Holly that she was a bit scared about it but that she trusted her God to comfort her. Next, Dr. Bosco said that he was also going to take her off of the pump version of the pancreas medicine (octreotide) and switch her to shots in the leg. Laura was not thrilled about this either. He also wanted to replace her PIC line today just to make sure it wasn't contributing to any misreadings on the lab results everyday. Her PIC line goes in thorugh her arm and drops down in to her chest and it has many functions. It can feed her and they can draw blood from it. So, it's an important piece for someone who hasn't drank anything or eaten anything for 9 days. Finally the doctor did say she would actually be moved today and she WAS! Of course that brought on a little tension as well, because in the trauma unit Laura is very close to the most advanced equipment; she was one of only 3 people in that area, so she was given a lot of close attention. Please pray for her with this because, as I have shared, she was very comfortable with the team in the trauma unit.
Once our meeting with Dr. Bosco was over, it was non-stop people and tests with poking and moving until 3 p.m. Finally, she was left alone and in her new room. I was hoping that her and Holly could just rest but Laura could not. She just never reached that deep sleep that she needed. She needs rest, so that is a prayer as well. She also decided to no longer take any pain medication for a few different reasons. First, she kind of started to want it and second, she was relying on it for sleep. She would rather rest next to her Lord. She had a great vision today of that but I will not share those details with you all; it was very sweet though! With all of that going on Laura still managed to shine a bit on her new nurses and they seemed to like being around her. I have not seen a nurse yet get out of that room without Laura knowing sometihng about them. It's pretty fun to watch. That's Laura in action. Her gifts being used...people, listening, caring.
Overall, Laura is getting better. Slowly. Very slowly. That just is not the pace in the Frederick house! So it's really hard for Laura--at least I get some breaks from that place. Our walk today was awesome. She was so moved by all of the things going on around us. It makes us both ask, "Why?" Why us? A ton of people are hurting or have been hurting. I really did not have an answer. All I know is you all have moved my family into a place of rest and peace in the middle of some very difficult times. I know God is using you all to bless us, and for that I am so humbled and grateful. I would love to share more of my day with Laura with you all but instead Laura wanted to share a few things that she wrote today...
From Laura.
There are a few thoughts on my heart today. 1) There is no way we can fathom the power of our God. When you pray you are sharing your heart with a Being who extends beyond what our minds could ever comprehend. Don’t let your fears make you forget how big he is! 2) Sometimes he allows us the privilege of seeing the work he is doing in our lives. But sometimes we don’t have visibility to that work. His loving hands never stop shaping us. Offer praise even when you don’t see the fruit (yet). 3) I’ve never fasted. I like my comforts. This has been a forced fast. However, even now there are ways I could compromise. Even in the case of a forced fast there were still ways to find loop holes. I've had to trust God to meet me in the fast and release my will, so I could connect with him in it so it would be a full fast. God has slowly taught me to look to him for satisfaction of hunger and thirst. He has met me in this fast. I can hear him more clearly. It’s a sweet place to be! The parts that I hear about how people are serving, helping, loving, praying. I’m hearing how each person is serving in their own strengths. It just blows me away that the Body is alive and moving. It’s such an amazing thing to hear about. We don’t even know how many people are being touched and changed through this. Keep pressing in to God. I look forward to the time when I can join with you in serving and in asking God to direct my heart to fill the needs of those around me.
Tuesday, February 1, 2011
Monday, January 31st
The greatest part of today was Laura's strength. She spoke to the kids twice today on the phone, and it was so good to see happy tears. She misses them greatly. She still can't see them until she is moved, which hopefully will be soon. Please continue to pray for her spirit. She is so amazing in her determination but has some very real fear. The doctor told us today a little bad news but a little good news as well.
Once I finally got to the hospital, Dr. Bosco was willing to update us both on the latest. The bit of bad news is that Laura's white blood cell count is continuing to increase. I was under the impression that that was good, but I guess it's not (I have no idea about this stuff). Dr. Bosco thinks this is happening because, as it turns out, Laura had a "pseudocyst" on her pancreas. Apparently, this is rather normal and can go away on it's own, but it's forcing them to wait longer on removing her gallbladder. They want to see Laura's system continue to calm down internally as much as possible before going in there to remove the gallbladder. There is a possibility that they will need to remove the cyst as well, but it's not likely. And there is a lot less fluid overall inside of her, so hopefully they won't need to do any more taps to get rid of it.
So, that information came with some good and bad news. The worst part of it is Laura has done everything she can to be healthy (no surprise for those of you who really know her). You would assume that that is good; however, now Laura has nothing to challenge her physically. Laura loves to be pushed and to compete. It's a quality I think that is really good for the two of us! Well, now the doctor's only prescription is to be patient and rest and allow the body to do what it is going to do. You can now assume the good and bad at the same time...
The bad is, Laura basically cannot push her body to BE healthier. She has already crushed the "stupid machine" that helps her lungs. It's not even a challenge anymore! This will drive Laura crazy. She is looking at an unknown amount of time in front of her, and she can't help speed things up. Well, this leads us to the good. The good thing is obvious. She now has no option but to spend time with her God. My wife does not exactly excel in patience (her words as well, by the way), and she recently told me that she thought God wanted her to grow in this area. Well, the opportunity has presented itself in a way that we did not expect.
Her days will be wrapped in waiting, walking, sleeping, reading, singing, praying and talking. Really nothing else. No food or "work" can be enjoyed. She MUST be still in His trust. As I have said before, Dr. Bosco has made it very clear that this whole process could change again whenever her pancreas freaks out. He is really trying to drive home the idea that we will be there at least a few more weeks. This is so very difficult for all of us. The kids and I miss her so much, and I know many of you do as well.
I was able to spend a lot of time with her today. Since we have cut back to only one person at a time, I have been spending a lot of time trying to juggle who will be going in and for how long. Honestly, Laura runs the show on this. She tells us who she would like to spend some time with and then has a very specific job for that family member. Today though, many of our family members were crushed by realizing that they had to go back to work, so I was there solo for a while today. Again, if I was honest, I would tell you I was a bit lonely. But, when I was in the room with Laura we had some great conversations. We talked about getting down to Yosemite with the kids again soon after this. We talked about how amazing it is to be flooded with blessing after blessing by all of you. We talked about what we could do this week together. I read Ephesians to her. We talked about some worship music (my favorite topic). And she pushed me to spend more time playing worship by myself, realizing that that is what I always need. It's what gives me peace: just me, God, and my guitar. She cried a bit for happy reasons today, and that almost brought me to my knees. Tears of joy are a welcomed thing for us right now. I have been determined to not let her see concern on my face, so the tears are not allowed in my world right now. She said she needs to not see emotions of worry in the room, so I am trying to honor that.
Later in the day her sister came and had a few hours with her, and then her parents followed. I assume this will be what the week looks like. Patience is the precription. We must run to our God and kneel. I am so blessed by the opportunity to be ministered to by my wife. Her heart is flooded with true concern for me. One of our conversations that I will share is that she realized that I feel like I am not leading enough in that room with her. She reminded me that I'm the only person that she just wants in there just to be in there. If we have a moment together, great, but her point was to remind me of my job: "Stand by me, pat my head. I just like knowing that you are here." Wow, I am blessed by all of you, but I am a different man because of God moving through my wife.
Please continue to be in prayer for Laura. She has a long journey ahead of her. She will need strength and peace. Rest and hope. She really wanted me to make sure that she is so thankful for all that is being done. Our laundry is being done (thank you Sarah Lee), bills are being paid by some of you, food to many people involved. The support is endless. She desires to be back soon and is hoping that our faith and support in our communities continues to be strrong.
From both of us, we are so grateful that you love on all of us.
Jason, Laura, Kaitlyn and Kaden.
Love you guys!
Once I finally got to the hospital, Dr. Bosco was willing to update us both on the latest. The bit of bad news is that Laura's white blood cell count is continuing to increase. I was under the impression that that was good, but I guess it's not (I have no idea about this stuff). Dr. Bosco thinks this is happening because, as it turns out, Laura had a "pseudocyst" on her pancreas. Apparently, this is rather normal and can go away on it's own, but it's forcing them to wait longer on removing her gallbladder. They want to see Laura's system continue to calm down internally as much as possible before going in there to remove the gallbladder. There is a possibility that they will need to remove the cyst as well, but it's not likely. And there is a lot less fluid overall inside of her, so hopefully they won't need to do any more taps to get rid of it.
So, that information came with some good and bad news. The worst part of it is Laura has done everything she can to be healthy (no surprise for those of you who really know her). You would assume that that is good; however, now Laura has nothing to challenge her physically. Laura loves to be pushed and to compete. It's a quality I think that is really good for the two of us! Well, now the doctor's only prescription is to be patient and rest and allow the body to do what it is going to do. You can now assume the good and bad at the same time...
The bad is, Laura basically cannot push her body to BE healthier. She has already crushed the "stupid machine" that helps her lungs. It's not even a challenge anymore! This will drive Laura crazy. She is looking at an unknown amount of time in front of her, and she can't help speed things up. Well, this leads us to the good. The good thing is obvious. She now has no option but to spend time with her God. My wife does not exactly excel in patience (her words as well, by the way), and she recently told me that she thought God wanted her to grow in this area. Well, the opportunity has presented itself in a way that we did not expect.
Her days will be wrapped in waiting, walking, sleeping, reading, singing, praying and talking. Really nothing else. No food or "work" can be enjoyed. She MUST be still in His trust. As I have said before, Dr. Bosco has made it very clear that this whole process could change again whenever her pancreas freaks out. He is really trying to drive home the idea that we will be there at least a few more weeks. This is so very difficult for all of us. The kids and I miss her so much, and I know many of you do as well.
I was able to spend a lot of time with her today. Since we have cut back to only one person at a time, I have been spending a lot of time trying to juggle who will be going in and for how long. Honestly, Laura runs the show on this. She tells us who she would like to spend some time with and then has a very specific job for that family member. Today though, many of our family members were crushed by realizing that they had to go back to work, so I was there solo for a while today. Again, if I was honest, I would tell you I was a bit lonely. But, when I was in the room with Laura we had some great conversations. We talked about getting down to Yosemite with the kids again soon after this. We talked about how amazing it is to be flooded with blessing after blessing by all of you. We talked about what we could do this week together. I read Ephesians to her. We talked about some worship music (my favorite topic). And she pushed me to spend more time playing worship by myself, realizing that that is what I always need. It's what gives me peace: just me, God, and my guitar. She cried a bit for happy reasons today, and that almost brought me to my knees. Tears of joy are a welcomed thing for us right now. I have been determined to not let her see concern on my face, so the tears are not allowed in my world right now. She said she needs to not see emotions of worry in the room, so I am trying to honor that.
Later in the day her sister came and had a few hours with her, and then her parents followed. I assume this will be what the week looks like. Patience is the precription. We must run to our God and kneel. I am so blessed by the opportunity to be ministered to by my wife. Her heart is flooded with true concern for me. One of our conversations that I will share is that she realized that I feel like I am not leading enough in that room with her. She reminded me that I'm the only person that she just wants in there just to be in there. If we have a moment together, great, but her point was to remind me of my job: "Stand by me, pat my head. I just like knowing that you are here." Wow, I am blessed by all of you, but I am a different man because of God moving through my wife.
Please continue to be in prayer for Laura. She has a long journey ahead of her. She will need strength and peace. Rest and hope. She really wanted me to make sure that she is so thankful for all that is being done. Our laundry is being done (thank you Sarah Lee), bills are being paid by some of you, food to many people involved. The support is endless. She desires to be back soon and is hoping that our faith and support in our communities continues to be strrong.
From both of us, we are so grateful that you love on all of us.
Jason, Laura, Kaitlyn and Kaden.
Love you guys!
Sunday, January 30th
Today was much harder than the last few. I woke up hoping to go to church and just rest. Instead, I was updated by Holly that things were not good. So, I called the nurse to ask for some details and basically, Laura's white blood cell count went up; so did the enyzmes in her pancreas. These are not good signs. Now, some things you have to know is that the Dr. decided to stop the antibiotics late yesterday and the Octreotide (the medicine that shuts down the pancreas) to see how her body would respond. I'm not sure that that is exactly the reason, but basically he felt that Laura was ready to try to let her body be a part of this healing process. So, we are not as bad as Monday and Tuesday, but we did take a few steps backwards today. They immediately put her back on antibiotics and Octreotide, and her body did start to respond.
The other possible issue is there is a slight chance of a type of a cyst on her pancreas. There was not a lot of talk about this other than she will have a scan in the morning. Her lab results will be available in the morning to see how the enyzmes are doing, as well as her white blood cell count. I will most certainly text out an update as soon as I know. Please be praying for this. I am curious how this will affect Laura emotionally and what the next steps will be if she has a cyst.
Laura was able to download some of this new bit of information with her mom Janice. Janice is an amazing woman of God who knows what it's like to cling to the Lord through trials. So Janice, being Janice, was prepared to share God's truth with her daughter. Laura tells me that Janice knew exactly which verses to share with her, and I do believe Holly sent that out to all of you. I have not read it yet but I will. The point here is Laura was unshaken. Her God cemeted the idea in her today that she is His craftsmanship--a work of art! Yes, she got nervous, but she leaned on her Best Freind and He caught her. Stood her up. Brushed her off and then fought her battle while she rested. That was the vision I kept seeing today.
Some of you probably know that Laura has been able to walk the hallways a bit. Carrie was so excited to do this with her last night (I so appreciate you Carrie and Dan!). As I said before, Carrie had the night shift, and Laura told me that Carrie had a great time with God all night before Carrie told me the same thing. Just a little insight into our marriage at this point...Laura does this to me all the time. She will know what's going on in my heart before I tell her, and then when I am so thrilled to share she says, "I know" before I'm finished. Totally frustrating! Moving on...
Anyhow, Laura overall seemd unmoved today. Strengthened. Prayerful. Continue to pray for her emotions, because we have a ways to go. The doctor said that the setbacks could happen a few more times. That will be hard for all of us, including Laura. So, she will not be having surgery to remove her gallbladder just yet, and there is no move in to another room for awhile. This will be really hard on Kaitlyn and Kaden as well. I was hoping that they would be able to see her soon. They aren't allowed in the trauma unit, so it may be a while. Please be praying for them. They have been my little warriors through this. They (we) have been so blessed to have all of you in our lives. They have fun everyday, and I know that there are so many of you that want to help with them. I value all of you.
Personally, today was my hardest day. I felt the overwhelming need to not allow Laura out of my sight once I got to the hospital. Just watching her gives me comfort. I want to take a minute to say something to the guys that I shared with some close friends of mine...What would you do to serve your wife if she could not do anything? I am learning this all week. I am no example. My only point is to ask yourself how you could serve your wife. She is your wife. Your closest partner. Do all you can to honor her. You must be used in your marriage to honor God ,even if it is in spite of yourself. Again, I hope none of you are forced to learn the way I am, but I also realize that some of you may have been through something like this. All I'm saying is: Please strengthen your spouse. They deserve it because they are God's daughters.
My struggle today was very personal. I can share only a piece with you all. Satan has a way of using past experiences in my life when I least expect it. I have a physical response in my stomach and body when I want something suddenly in my life that I have been free of for almost 15 years. I struggled through the morning with pain and worry. When I dropped off the kids, my good friend Kristine could tell I was off for other reasons than Laura. She did not ask but I later shared through text as I watched Laura sleep. I asked Kristine to share with our small group, and before you knew it Mr. Justin Pritchard was on his way with a Holy cup of coffee! I needed to know that Justin was there, but I waited a long time to leave Laura. When I came out of the room I was only then starting to know how to respond to people, but the waiting room was too FULL of my awesome family. I tried to walk by quickly and not be seen, but Holly caught me and kept walking with me. I had no idea where I was going but I knew I needed to keep going. Holly kind of followed me around a bit then put her hand on my back and prayed. I felt peaceful. No pain. No stomach twitching. No attack. My focus became clear again, and I was ready to be strong again. My God lifted me in that moment. I am not usually so open about my faith with people I don't know, but at this very moment in my life I can think of no better thing to boast about than the work Christ is doing in my life and with my family.
The day ended well. I saw some really special people today. Sarah, Roy, Dave Turner, Steven, Tiffany, Aunt Kathy, Joan, Uncle Fred, Laurie B, Michelle, and some other usual suspects! I can not express how much I value all of you. Today I realized that the depth of my realtionship with you all has no description for it. I love you all.
J.P.
One more quick thing...Lyndsay approached me tonight at the concert at the church (which I just was not ready to be out at yet) and she told me how much Laura means to her. She told me that I probably don't know her but she teared up when talking about my lovely wife. Thank you Lyndsay for sharing. I feel the same way about Laura.
My point is that after reflecting a bit on that moment with Lyndsay, I realized that it was so good to hear someone talk about Laura that way. When you see me around church, please tell me more about Laura. She means a lot to me too.
The other possible issue is there is a slight chance of a type of a cyst on her pancreas. There was not a lot of talk about this other than she will have a scan in the morning. Her lab results will be available in the morning to see how the enyzmes are doing, as well as her white blood cell count. I will most certainly text out an update as soon as I know. Please be praying for this. I am curious how this will affect Laura emotionally and what the next steps will be if she has a cyst.
Laura was able to download some of this new bit of information with her mom Janice. Janice is an amazing woman of God who knows what it's like to cling to the Lord through trials. So Janice, being Janice, was prepared to share God's truth with her daughter. Laura tells me that Janice knew exactly which verses to share with her, and I do believe Holly sent that out to all of you. I have not read it yet but I will. The point here is Laura was unshaken. Her God cemeted the idea in her today that she is His craftsmanship--a work of art! Yes, she got nervous, but she leaned on her Best Freind and He caught her. Stood her up. Brushed her off and then fought her battle while she rested. That was the vision I kept seeing today.
Some of you probably know that Laura has been able to walk the hallways a bit. Carrie was so excited to do this with her last night (I so appreciate you Carrie and Dan!). As I said before, Carrie had the night shift, and Laura told me that Carrie had a great time with God all night before Carrie told me the same thing. Just a little insight into our marriage at this point...Laura does this to me all the time. She will know what's going on in my heart before I tell her, and then when I am so thrilled to share she says, "I know" before I'm finished. Totally frustrating! Moving on...
Anyhow, Laura overall seemd unmoved today. Strengthened. Prayerful. Continue to pray for her emotions, because we have a ways to go. The doctor said that the setbacks could happen a few more times. That will be hard for all of us, including Laura. So, she will not be having surgery to remove her gallbladder just yet, and there is no move in to another room for awhile. This will be really hard on Kaitlyn and Kaden as well. I was hoping that they would be able to see her soon. They aren't allowed in the trauma unit, so it may be a while. Please be praying for them. They have been my little warriors through this. They (we) have been so blessed to have all of you in our lives. They have fun everyday, and I know that there are so many of you that want to help with them. I value all of you.
Personally, today was my hardest day. I felt the overwhelming need to not allow Laura out of my sight once I got to the hospital. Just watching her gives me comfort. I want to take a minute to say something to the guys that I shared with some close friends of mine...What would you do to serve your wife if she could not do anything? I am learning this all week. I am no example. My only point is to ask yourself how you could serve your wife. She is your wife. Your closest partner. Do all you can to honor her. You must be used in your marriage to honor God ,even if it is in spite of yourself. Again, I hope none of you are forced to learn the way I am, but I also realize that some of you may have been through something like this. All I'm saying is: Please strengthen your spouse. They deserve it because they are God's daughters.
My struggle today was very personal. I can share only a piece with you all. Satan has a way of using past experiences in my life when I least expect it. I have a physical response in my stomach and body when I want something suddenly in my life that I have been free of for almost 15 years. I struggled through the morning with pain and worry. When I dropped off the kids, my good friend Kristine could tell I was off for other reasons than Laura. She did not ask but I later shared through text as I watched Laura sleep. I asked Kristine to share with our small group, and before you knew it Mr. Justin Pritchard was on his way with a Holy cup of coffee! I needed to know that Justin was there, but I waited a long time to leave Laura. When I came out of the room I was only then starting to know how to respond to people, but the waiting room was too FULL of my awesome family. I tried to walk by quickly and not be seen, but Holly caught me and kept walking with me. I had no idea where I was going but I knew I needed to keep going. Holly kind of followed me around a bit then put her hand on my back and prayed. I felt peaceful. No pain. No stomach twitching. No attack. My focus became clear again, and I was ready to be strong again. My God lifted me in that moment. I am not usually so open about my faith with people I don't know, but at this very moment in my life I can think of no better thing to boast about than the work Christ is doing in my life and with my family.
The day ended well. I saw some really special people today. Sarah, Roy, Dave Turner, Steven, Tiffany, Aunt Kathy, Joan, Uncle Fred, Laurie B, Michelle, and some other usual suspects! I can not express how much I value all of you. Today I realized that the depth of my realtionship with you all has no description for it. I love you all.
J.P.
One more quick thing...Lyndsay approached me tonight at the concert at the church (which I just was not ready to be out at yet) and she told me how much Laura means to her. She told me that I probably don't know her but she teared up when talking about my lovely wife. Thank you Lyndsay for sharing. I feel the same way about Laura.
My point is that after reflecting a bit on that moment with Lyndsay, I realized that it was so good to hear someone talk about Laura that way. When you see me around church, please tell me more about Laura. She means a lot to me too.
Saturday, January 29th
What a day. It's funny how much God can use different things throughout your day. My day started by just allowing the kids to rest at home and in their beds. I love Saturdays for them. They are active kids, but they sure love their pj-and-cartoon time. Holly was so awesome to let me leave early than I have been to get to Laura and some great time with some good friends. She handled breakfast, clothing them, investing into them, and getting them to the Pritchards. I appreciate you, Holly. When I left, those kids were very peaceful.
The prayer time at the hopsital was amazing. Those men gathered around me to pra,y and I felt stronger and empowered by their prayers. They all prayed for Laura and the kids. I can't tell you how many times I heard "in Jesus name" during those prayers. I gave them all a hug and went on in to see my wife. I miss her. I am struggling with the distance, but I can rest and I can trust in my God. My first thought when I saw Laura was that she seemed rested. I could tell things had gone well over the night time (GREAT JOB SUZI!!!!), so Laura looked great. The doctor was already in there updating her and Janice. He was gracious enough to start over for me and fill me in.
The run-down was basically good. He is pleased enough with Laura's progress that he feels that it will be okay to move her to a regular room. Originally, Dr. Bosco did not want Laura out of his sight ,so I figured she must be doing MUCH better. Well, usually this is good news for people, but I could tell Laura was a bit nervous. I know she really trusts that team in the Trauma Unit to take care of her. She knows God is in control but also knows that God has blessed her with the efforts of the medical staff. So, at 8:30 a.m. this morning I knew Laura was already facing a bit of emotional concern for the changes that were eventually going to come. Dr. Bosco also filled us in on some details that I won't bore you with, but basically there were only a few things he wanted to check on. Overall, she is good. He did say we aren't done yet and there is still a ways to go, but she is moving in the right direction. Even though I could tell Laura was nervous she still kept her focus by saying that her new room will be a new ministry. That was so moving to hear.
For the next two hours a few things were going on. First, Laura was getting more nervous about how she was really doing. Second, Dr. Bosco was suddenly not pushing to get her into another room. It seemed strange to Janice and me. Then, he cancelled moving her until tomorrow. There was no real explanation for this, so please be praying about that. Laura's PIC line did have some problems, but they did get that resolved. So, I am not sure what's going to happen tomorrow. After a bit of respiratory therapy and a walk, Laura got tired. I believe Satan was approaching. Laura was really starting to break down a bit emotionally. She said that she did not know how to tell the kids that she won't make it home. And she was concerned that maybe God had already achieved His goal and that He may be ready to take her home. These were very raw moments with her. She was so scared. I held her head close on to mine and told her that God is right here with her and that He would not scare her. She said that she started to quote some scripture in her head, and that gave her some peace. Like a lot of people, I am a problem-solver. I could not fix how she was feeling, but I could lead her to rest. So, as quickly as possible we got her comfortable, and she fell asleep. I think that seems to be a pattern. When she is tired (she works so hard), Satan makes attempts. I gotta think this is yet another reason to Be Still and Know That I Am God. He knows we need rest. Sometimes it's best to shut down ourselves and let God battle for us. From late morning until early afternoon, Laura rested. She did share some concerns about food. She asked for prayer for this, because she is really starting to be hungry. And, moving to a regular room means other people will be eating around her.
I can tell you that one of the highlights of her day was taking a walk with her grandfather. I have great memories of my grandparents, so I can only imagine how sweet that time was for both of them. And another great moment came late tonight when Carrie McChesney got to walk her outside of the Trauma Unit. Laura walked the whole 2nd floor! Go team Frederick! Slightly envious Carrie got to do it, but I am really happy for Laura. That reminds me...Carrie is the night person tonight, so please keep her in your prayers. Dan as well. He's got the little guy solo. Thanks for yet another sacrifice, Dan.
My favorite moment today was when Laura was rested and we had just gone on a walk. She said, "You know, we make a pretty good team." There is a history with that comment between us that I won't share, but I can tell you that hearing that was like being home with her. It just feels good to hear something normal.
Tomorrow holds more challenges I'm sure, but together (meaning ALL of us) we can rest in His Presence. I am so grateful that I believe in someone bigger than me. Please pray for the day, hunger, Carrie's night, Janice - for getting there every morning at 5 a.m. to relieve the night person, Kaitlyn and Kaden, the Pritchards because my kids will be there and they are a huge blessing...the list is endless. I will hopefully run in to some of you tomorrow at church, but please come by and so hello at the hospital as well. We could always use more prayer.
The prayer time at the hopsital was amazing. Those men gathered around me to pra,y and I felt stronger and empowered by their prayers. They all prayed for Laura and the kids. I can't tell you how many times I heard "in Jesus name" during those prayers. I gave them all a hug and went on in to see my wife. I miss her. I am struggling with the distance, but I can rest and I can trust in my God. My first thought when I saw Laura was that she seemed rested. I could tell things had gone well over the night time (GREAT JOB SUZI!!!!), so Laura looked great. The doctor was already in there updating her and Janice. He was gracious enough to start over for me and fill me in.
The run-down was basically good. He is pleased enough with Laura's progress that he feels that it will be okay to move her to a regular room. Originally, Dr. Bosco did not want Laura out of his sight ,so I figured she must be doing MUCH better. Well, usually this is good news for people, but I could tell Laura was a bit nervous. I know she really trusts that team in the Trauma Unit to take care of her. She knows God is in control but also knows that God has blessed her with the efforts of the medical staff. So, at 8:30 a.m. this morning I knew Laura was already facing a bit of emotional concern for the changes that were eventually going to come. Dr. Bosco also filled us in on some details that I won't bore you with, but basically there were only a few things he wanted to check on. Overall, she is good. He did say we aren't done yet and there is still a ways to go, but she is moving in the right direction. Even though I could tell Laura was nervous she still kept her focus by saying that her new room will be a new ministry. That was so moving to hear.
For the next two hours a few things were going on. First, Laura was getting more nervous about how she was really doing. Second, Dr. Bosco was suddenly not pushing to get her into another room. It seemed strange to Janice and me. Then, he cancelled moving her until tomorrow. There was no real explanation for this, so please be praying about that. Laura's PIC line did have some problems, but they did get that resolved. So, I am not sure what's going to happen tomorrow. After a bit of respiratory therapy and a walk, Laura got tired. I believe Satan was approaching. Laura was really starting to break down a bit emotionally. She said that she did not know how to tell the kids that she won't make it home. And she was concerned that maybe God had already achieved His goal and that He may be ready to take her home. These were very raw moments with her. She was so scared. I held her head close on to mine and told her that God is right here with her and that He would not scare her. She said that she started to quote some scripture in her head, and that gave her some peace. Like a lot of people, I am a problem-solver. I could not fix how she was feeling, but I could lead her to rest. So, as quickly as possible we got her comfortable, and she fell asleep. I think that seems to be a pattern. When she is tired (she works so hard), Satan makes attempts. I gotta think this is yet another reason to Be Still and Know That I Am God. He knows we need rest. Sometimes it's best to shut down ourselves and let God battle for us. From late morning until early afternoon, Laura rested. She did share some concerns about food. She asked for prayer for this, because she is really starting to be hungry. And, moving to a regular room means other people will be eating around her.
I can tell you that one of the highlights of her day was taking a walk with her grandfather. I have great memories of my grandparents, so I can only imagine how sweet that time was for both of them. And another great moment came late tonight when Carrie McChesney got to walk her outside of the Trauma Unit. Laura walked the whole 2nd floor! Go team Frederick! Slightly envious Carrie got to do it, but I am really happy for Laura. That reminds me...Carrie is the night person tonight, so please keep her in your prayers. Dan as well. He's got the little guy solo. Thanks for yet another sacrifice, Dan.
My favorite moment today was when Laura was rested and we had just gone on a walk. She said, "You know, we make a pretty good team." There is a history with that comment between us that I won't share, but I can tell you that hearing that was like being home with her. It just feels good to hear something normal.
Tomorrow holds more challenges I'm sure, but together (meaning ALL of us) we can rest in His Presence. I am so grateful that I believe in someone bigger than me. Please pray for the day, hunger, Carrie's night, Janice - for getting there every morning at 5 a.m. to relieve the night person, Kaitlyn and Kaden, the Pritchards because my kids will be there and they are a huge blessing...the list is endless. I will hopefully run in to some of you tomorrow at church, but please come by and so hello at the hospital as well. We could always use more prayer.
Friday, January 28th
Today was really good. Laura was so amazing. She lifted my spirits and showed concern for me. That is so very normal for her. I love that about Laura. I did tell her that I would complain plenty when she gets home!!!
My first text update today was so good to share. I had to pause for a few minutes to understand how God was moving. Janice (Laura's mom), used the word cheerful to describe her and her night. They even prayed for a nurse that was not too nice. What a blessing Janice has been. She has been exhausted and worried and has fought so hard to be strong for Laura. Janice: I love you, and I know how hard this has been. Keep fighting. Thank you so much for investing into me.
So, the first few hours of the day were spent waiting for confirmation of what God was already doing. Healing Laura. Finally, the doctor came in and told Janice and I that we are over the hump and that Laura is now the low man on the priority list; that that is a very good thing. Apparently it's good in the trauma unit when they can ignore you for awhile!
From there was all Laura. She asked if Janice and I could take notes because she wanted us to do a few things. Then she spent 5 minutes telling me what to say to everyone in one small text. Then I think she paused, took a deep breath, and continued with a list that poor Janice could not keep up with. That would have been a good time for the OCDiva (Carrie) to be there to help us firgure out how to accomplish these things! Anyhow, the doctor had taken out Laura's NG tube (tube through nose to stomach) and then said that she basically no longer needed a few things that she was connected to. I will tell you what Laura looked like a different person with out all of those things. She was chipper and happy.
I think having so many things attached to her gave her some comfort, because shortly after all of that she started to reveal some feelings. She was scared and nervous. She had come to trust some of those things on her, and she had come to trust Aunt Dennie and Grandma Booth (Ina) for the evenings; now, she was going to have a very different looking situation--that made her cry a bit. At this point, you all need to know that our very own Suzi Hahn is there right now and is doing an amazing job. Suzi is there because Laura and I trust her. That being said, there was change coming for the evening, and it was a little much for her. Laura and I talked about who could help support her through the nights, and we felt God really gave us some great people to rely on. Please pray for Suzi. I spoke with her before I left tonight and she was her happy, encouraging, bring-on-the-world self that I know. Thank you, Suzi. Being the first one outside of the family is tough.
After some very sweet times with my wife of singing worship together, all was calm. God's presence (with an S!!! Justin Pritchard) filled our room and Laura slept. She really slept--the lowest heart rate I had seen since this thing started. She was so beautiful resting and knowing that her God is healing her. I choked up because I knew she trusted Him. I have learned this week that Laura's emotions are so much harder for me to be strong through. I want to help her always, but there are just some moments that make it so clear to me that I am not her strength...her God is. In those moments when life is too much, she needs her Best Friend.
On a personal note, I was so blessed to see my dear friend Mary Fernandez (Abero). She drove all the way up from L.A. to see me and give me a hug. She is a very special person in my life and has always been there for me. I kept telling her all week that I was okay and she did not need to make a special trip. Again, she knows me very well. She texted me and said she was about an hour out and I told her that I really DID need her and was trying to not tell her. She simply said, "I knew I had to come." Laura (for some reason) understands my closeness with Mary. That alone is an amazing gift of Laura's. Mary and she have gotten to know each other over the years, and now I sometimes loose out on the conversation because Laura won't stop talking to Mary long enough for me to say hi!!! Once again, I should not be surprised. Anyhow, Mary thank you so much for all that you do for me. I love you and always love a visit. Please travel safely home tomorrow.
Tomorrow is another new day. I am getting any guys together at 7:30 a.m. for prayer, so come out (Saturday). I am not sure what the plan is for Laura tomorrow, but I know that the doctors are slowly taking her off of the pancreas medication; please be praying for that.
You have all been so amazing and have even helped out the McChesneys. I was given some sack lunches for the kids today (Thank you Jenny!), and meals have been sent over to the McChesneys as well. You guys all rock! And, yes, things can get really busy at the hospital but DO NOT HESITATE to just come by and pray in the waiting room. Someone is always there, and there are others that need our prayers too!
Talk with you all soon!
J.P.
My first text update today was so good to share. I had to pause for a few minutes to understand how God was moving. Janice (Laura's mom), used the word cheerful to describe her and her night. They even prayed for a nurse that was not too nice. What a blessing Janice has been. She has been exhausted and worried and has fought so hard to be strong for Laura. Janice: I love you, and I know how hard this has been. Keep fighting. Thank you so much for investing into me.
So, the first few hours of the day were spent waiting for confirmation of what God was already doing. Healing Laura. Finally, the doctor came in and told Janice and I that we are over the hump and that Laura is now the low man on the priority list; that that is a very good thing. Apparently it's good in the trauma unit when they can ignore you for awhile!
From there was all Laura. She asked if Janice and I could take notes because she wanted us to do a few things. Then she spent 5 minutes telling me what to say to everyone in one small text. Then I think she paused, took a deep breath, and continued with a list that poor Janice could not keep up with. That would have been a good time for the OCDiva (Carrie) to be there to help us firgure out how to accomplish these things! Anyhow, the doctor had taken out Laura's NG tube (tube through nose to stomach) and then said that she basically no longer needed a few things that she was connected to. I will tell you what Laura looked like a different person with out all of those things. She was chipper and happy.
I think having so many things attached to her gave her some comfort, because shortly after all of that she started to reveal some feelings. She was scared and nervous. She had come to trust some of those things on her, and she had come to trust Aunt Dennie and Grandma Booth (Ina) for the evenings; now, she was going to have a very different looking situation--that made her cry a bit. At this point, you all need to know that our very own Suzi Hahn is there right now and is doing an amazing job. Suzi is there because Laura and I trust her. That being said, there was change coming for the evening, and it was a little much for her. Laura and I talked about who could help support her through the nights, and we felt God really gave us some great people to rely on. Please pray for Suzi. I spoke with her before I left tonight and she was her happy, encouraging, bring-on-the-world self that I know. Thank you, Suzi. Being the first one outside of the family is tough.
After some very sweet times with my wife of singing worship together, all was calm. God's presence (with an S!!! Justin Pritchard) filled our room and Laura slept. She really slept--the lowest heart rate I had seen since this thing started. She was so beautiful resting and knowing that her God is healing her. I choked up because I knew she trusted Him. I have learned this week that Laura's emotions are so much harder for me to be strong through. I want to help her always, but there are just some moments that make it so clear to me that I am not her strength...her God is. In those moments when life is too much, she needs her Best Friend.
On a personal note, I was so blessed to see my dear friend Mary Fernandez (Abero). She drove all the way up from L.A. to see me and give me a hug. She is a very special person in my life and has always been there for me. I kept telling her all week that I was okay and she did not need to make a special trip. Again, she knows me very well. She texted me and said she was about an hour out and I told her that I really DID need her and was trying to not tell her. She simply said, "I knew I had to come." Laura (for some reason) understands my closeness with Mary. That alone is an amazing gift of Laura's. Mary and she have gotten to know each other over the years, and now I sometimes loose out on the conversation because Laura won't stop talking to Mary long enough for me to say hi!!! Once again, I should not be surprised. Anyhow, Mary thank you so much for all that you do for me. I love you and always love a visit. Please travel safely home tomorrow.
Tomorrow is another new day. I am getting any guys together at 7:30 a.m. for prayer, so come out (Saturday). I am not sure what the plan is for Laura tomorrow, but I know that the doctors are slowly taking her off of the pancreas medication; please be praying for that.
You have all been so amazing and have even helped out the McChesneys. I was given some sack lunches for the kids today (Thank you Jenny!), and meals have been sent over to the McChesneys as well. You guys all rock! And, yes, things can get really busy at the hospital but DO NOT HESITATE to just come by and pray in the waiting room. Someone is always there, and there are others that need our prayers too!
Talk with you all soon!
J.P.
Thursday, January 27th (Evening)
Hello to everyone. Another pretty good day for Laura. What started out tough, emotional, and exhausting, turned into praise, peace, and rest. Laura got some sleep today and I am fairly certain that tonight will be the same. What an answer to prayer. I know that Laura was giving Him His due credit. I know she would hope you do the same.
I do need to clarify some things from today. Probably my fault. I do miss some details in that room sometimes, so for those of you who know medicine, hang in there with me when you know I'm off. Anyhow, the "Lung Tap" was actually fluid under the lower lobes of her lungs. Still serious, but I wanted you all to have the details. Moving on...
Immmediately after having that procedure, Laura was able to breath deeper and hold more air in. Good things. Dr. Bosco did say there is a possiblity of it happening again, in which case they would just do the same thing. So, her lungs are stronger and she can breath more--look out! Watch for a woman with jogger and husky lapping Maidu park soon.
Friday will be much of the same. Rest. Peace. Walk. Lab tests and prayer. Small slow improvements are the prayer.
With all of the good signs and rest today, it's easy to think we are good. Keep pushing and we should be fine. Well, my heart was heavy yesterday when I found out a close friend of mine lost someone in his life for the same problem as Laura on Tuesday. As a matter of fact, Laura and this gentleman got sick around the same time. He was at Kaiser around the corner. Please be praying for Mike and his family. He is an orignal church member and loves his home. Mike and Sharon need our prayers, so please shower them with blessings as you have done with mine. So, my point here is to continue to pray on behalf of Laura. It's not over. We ARE in a battle.
Laura's mindset seemed to improve throughout the day, so I want to thank you all for the prayers. I was able to gently tell her about the influence she is having on all of us. I know my life certainly looks different. Most of you know that Laura is passionate in a way that is almost hard to understand at times. Her lifeline to God is her unquenched soul. She has to have a direct contact with her Lord in order to function and bless those around her. The kids and I certainly understand this and I am sure that most of you do as well. That is an amazing thing about my wife that a close friend of mine had some great words of wisdom on. Laura seeks God for so many things but has recently started to seek Him in a way that would force her to learn more about her. What is buried in those deep places that God is so excited to use? I have known my wife for 14 years, and I could not tell you what God has in store for her; I do know that she is not complete. We are not complete. None of us has figured out all the parts about ourselves that God is SO ready to use. In an act of honoring your God, ask Him where He longs to take you. What does He know about you that you don't? That was Laura's mindset over the past few months. It has been an absolute joy watching and encouraging her growth.
Suzi Hahn tried to cheat by asking me today what God was laying on my heart to talk about tonight (usually he does). I actually did not know at the tim,e until I had a good conversation with my older sister Tamara. So, some of you know that we lost my mom to oral cancer only two years ago. The process was painful. Physically and emotionally. Tamara handled almost all of the daily needs for my parents. She supported my dad and even quit her job to help my mom at home. She was a rock for the family, and Tamara, if you are reading this, I need to tell you that I appreciate all of those things. I don't believe any of that was easy for her, but she did it. My point is that it never dawned on me to see that she was serving in a way that God loved. Holly has been spending some amazing time with Tamara and just sharing her faith. My sister and I are part Italian, and with that came a Catholic upbringing. Anyhow, Tamara: I don't know where you stand in your faith, but I want you to know that God loves you. Jesus craves you. I became in a Christian in 1997 and I have never taken the time to tell you that I am broken and redemed only by His blood. You and the family would be a welcomed joy at Bridgeway, and together we could show Dad what real peace is. Think about it...
Laura - when you eventually read this, please know that it is God using you in this situation to give me the courage to share with my family. I love you so much and can't wait for you to come home.
I do need to clarify some things from today. Probably my fault. I do miss some details in that room sometimes, so for those of you who know medicine, hang in there with me when you know I'm off. Anyhow, the "Lung Tap" was actually fluid under the lower lobes of her lungs. Still serious, but I wanted you all to have the details. Moving on...
Immmediately after having that procedure, Laura was able to breath deeper and hold more air in. Good things. Dr. Bosco did say there is a possiblity of it happening again, in which case they would just do the same thing. So, her lungs are stronger and she can breath more--look out! Watch for a woman with jogger and husky lapping Maidu park soon.
Friday will be much of the same. Rest. Peace. Walk. Lab tests and prayer. Small slow improvements are the prayer.
With all of the good signs and rest today, it's easy to think we are good. Keep pushing and we should be fine. Well, my heart was heavy yesterday when I found out a close friend of mine lost someone in his life for the same problem as Laura on Tuesday. As a matter of fact, Laura and this gentleman got sick around the same time. He was at Kaiser around the corner. Please be praying for Mike and his family. He is an orignal church member and loves his home. Mike and Sharon need our prayers, so please shower them with blessings as you have done with mine. So, my point here is to continue to pray on behalf of Laura. It's not over. We ARE in a battle.
Laura's mindset seemed to improve throughout the day, so I want to thank you all for the prayers. I was able to gently tell her about the influence she is having on all of us. I know my life certainly looks different. Most of you know that Laura is passionate in a way that is almost hard to understand at times. Her lifeline to God is her unquenched soul. She has to have a direct contact with her Lord in order to function and bless those around her. The kids and I certainly understand this and I am sure that most of you do as well. That is an amazing thing about my wife that a close friend of mine had some great words of wisdom on. Laura seeks God for so many things but has recently started to seek Him in a way that would force her to learn more about her. What is buried in those deep places that God is so excited to use? I have known my wife for 14 years, and I could not tell you what God has in store for her; I do know that she is not complete. We are not complete. None of us has figured out all the parts about ourselves that God is SO ready to use. In an act of honoring your God, ask Him where He longs to take you. What does He know about you that you don't? That was Laura's mindset over the past few months. It has been an absolute joy watching and encouraging her growth.
Suzi Hahn tried to cheat by asking me today what God was laying on my heart to talk about tonight (usually he does). I actually did not know at the tim,e until I had a good conversation with my older sister Tamara. So, some of you know that we lost my mom to oral cancer only two years ago. The process was painful. Physically and emotionally. Tamara handled almost all of the daily needs for my parents. She supported my dad and even quit her job to help my mom at home. She was a rock for the family, and Tamara, if you are reading this, I need to tell you that I appreciate all of those things. I don't believe any of that was easy for her, but she did it. My point is that it never dawned on me to see that she was serving in a way that God loved. Holly has been spending some amazing time with Tamara and just sharing her faith. My sister and I are part Italian, and with that came a Catholic upbringing. Anyhow, Tamara: I don't know where you stand in your faith, but I want you to know that God loves you. Jesus craves you. I became in a Christian in 1997 and I have never taken the time to tell you that I am broken and redemed only by His blood. You and the family would be a welcomed joy at Bridgeway, and together we could show Dad what real peace is. Think about it...
Laura - when you eventually read this, please know that it is God using you in this situation to give me the courage to share with my family. I love you so much and can't wait for you to come home.
Thursday, January 27th (Morning)
Hey everyone. Our prayers for peace and and rest worked. She got some sleep. BUT here is the current need.
I am going to give her more silence today. So, one person at a time and NO, ZERO talking unless Laura talks AND then tell her to rest.
Also, she lost it emotionally. Pray for her strength. Any little comment the wrong way by a doctor was not helpful. The RT simply said, "I hope you are better next time." She melted.
Finally, believe it not, she thinks she can't minister to people right now. This breaks my heart, because if she only knew how she was leading us all in worship and prayer. I am going to attempt to tell her these things, but it's hard for me to even think about with out tears. She also mentioned preparing our children if she does not come home...can't even write to this one...
I will send a text update on this morning lab results.
Thanks to all. J.P.
I am going to give her more silence today. So, one person at a time and NO, ZERO talking unless Laura talks AND then tell her to rest.
Also, she lost it emotionally. Pray for her strength. Any little comment the wrong way by a doctor was not helpful. The RT simply said, "I hope you are better next time." She melted.
Finally, believe it not, she thinks she can't minister to people right now. This breaks my heart, because if she only knew how she was leading us all in worship and prayer. I am going to attempt to tell her these things, but it's hard for me to even think about with out tears. She also mentioned preparing our children if she does not come home...can't even write to this one...
I will send a text update on this morning lab results.
Thanks to all. J.P.
Wednesday, January 26th
Most of you know that today was very exciting for Laura. She got to walk. Laura was able to get up and walk 4 times today (I think). Of course she was thrilled to actually do something and I believe the doctors are excited for her but want her to tone it down a bit. Good luck with that...if they figure that out I would love to know how!
If you have not heard, today was very simular to yesterday in that there were small improvements in all the lab results but still a long way to go. I think the doctors are even trying to hold back their hope a bit. They have made it very clear that it IS possible to for Laura to improve so much that she goes home within the week, BUT the reality is we need to prepare for a few weeks. And THEN they will remove Laura's gallbladder. I have been told that she will not be leaving the hospital with her gallbladder AND it is likely that she will not be moved out of the trauma unit because that is the best available care for her and her condition is still serious.
A few of the elders and one of our Pastors prayed with Laura today. That was a great gift, so thank you guys for being there. It means a lot to everyone involved. Somehow, Laura is still leading some of us through all of this and pointing us all to Christ. As Holly has shared, she is able to understand what our needs are when we walk in to her room. To be honest, it's hard to hide the emotion, and I can't help but wonder if she knows. The fact is, Laura is doing a little better everyday and she keeps saying that she wants out of there. She sounds more and more like herself everyday.
The prayer needs are simple. First, that Laura continues to improve and God heals her ONLY to show His Glory. In scripture, God always had a reason for healing someone. The purpose was not to make someone well, but to prove His power, love, grace, and Glory. I believe we have an opportunity to give Him praise through this. The statistics are not good for this type of infection. 3 out of 10 people don't make it. It's hard for me to even write that because it's really difficult for me to imagine walking out of that hospital for the last time alone. So then, where do I turn? One of my favorite verses...
Isaiah 41:10
So do not fear, for I am with you;
do not be dismayed, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you and help you,
I will uphold you with my righteous hand.
I was telling Holly tonight that the word "idle" was stuck in my head today. When the doctors were laying out the day this morning all I heard was "idle." Meaning, "I am in control here. Watch me work, BUT be patient and REST." Our peace and rest should come from Him and our trust IN Him. I know God's got this one. I know He does. So, I want to ask all of you to do a few things...Continue to pray. Find some Peace in those prayer times. And Rest. Actually pray for rest for others as well. Laura, Holly, Janice and Denny need rest. A type of rest that can't be explained. My children need rest. They have been so wonderfully blessed by all of you.
Finally, you have all been such a wonderful encouragement to me and my family. Laura takes it all in stride and listens to all the things you are all doing for her and everyone involved. I have been a part of this church for almost 12 years and I have never seen this before. Please continue in this spirit once Laura walks out of the hospital WITH me. I love you all. J.P.
If you have not heard, today was very simular to yesterday in that there were small improvements in all the lab results but still a long way to go. I think the doctors are even trying to hold back their hope a bit. They have made it very clear that it IS possible to for Laura to improve so much that she goes home within the week, BUT the reality is we need to prepare for a few weeks. And THEN they will remove Laura's gallbladder. I have been told that she will not be leaving the hospital with her gallbladder AND it is likely that she will not be moved out of the trauma unit because that is the best available care for her and her condition is still serious.
A few of the elders and one of our Pastors prayed with Laura today. That was a great gift, so thank you guys for being there. It means a lot to everyone involved. Somehow, Laura is still leading some of us through all of this and pointing us all to Christ. As Holly has shared, she is able to understand what our needs are when we walk in to her room. To be honest, it's hard to hide the emotion, and I can't help but wonder if she knows. The fact is, Laura is doing a little better everyday and she keeps saying that she wants out of there. She sounds more and more like herself everyday.
The prayer needs are simple. First, that Laura continues to improve and God heals her ONLY to show His Glory. In scripture, God always had a reason for healing someone. The purpose was not to make someone well, but to prove His power, love, grace, and Glory. I believe we have an opportunity to give Him praise through this. The statistics are not good for this type of infection. 3 out of 10 people don't make it. It's hard for me to even write that because it's really difficult for me to imagine walking out of that hospital for the last time alone. So then, where do I turn? One of my favorite verses...
Isaiah 41:10
So do not fear, for I am with you;
do not be dismayed, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you and help you,
I will uphold you with my righteous hand.
I was telling Holly tonight that the word "idle" was stuck in my head today. When the doctors were laying out the day this morning all I heard was "idle." Meaning, "I am in control here. Watch me work, BUT be patient and REST." Our peace and rest should come from Him and our trust IN Him. I know God's got this one. I know He does. So, I want to ask all of you to do a few things...Continue to pray. Find some Peace in those prayer times. And Rest. Actually pray for rest for others as well. Laura, Holly, Janice and Denny need rest. A type of rest that can't be explained. My children need rest. They have been so wonderfully blessed by all of you.
Finally, you have all been such a wonderful encouragement to me and my family. Laura takes it all in stride and listens to all the things you are all doing for her and everyone involved. I have been a part of this church for almost 12 years and I have never seen this before. Please continue in this spirit once Laura walks out of the hospital WITH me. I love you all. J.P.
Tuesday, January 25th
I want you all to know that I am so humbled by your words, actions, and prayers for my family. Thank you.
Today picked up where it left off. Small improvements at a time. Many of you have read what the doctor is describing as a "good guy, bad guy race." Today, he thinks, "we may have reached a point where the two meet." This could last awhile. So, essentially he thinks we may have seen the worst part of the infection IF things remain the same. Now, so much plays into this. If there is another block (which we don't know yet) things could very easily get worse again. The MRCP (which I referred to as an MRI) was inconclusive and will be reassessed in the morning before any decisions are made. Laura will have a chest x-ray in the morning for both her heart and lungs. And her lab work will be done again at 4 a.m., so those things are crucial.
Progress was made today with Laura's lungs. She is stronger, but there is still fluid there so be praying for that. She told me to coach her through the lung exercises today, so that was fun. It did cross my mind if pushing my sick wife in kind of a mean way was bad, but to no surprise of mine Laura said, "Good," as if to coach me. Many of you know this type of Laura! At one point today I was just looking at her and she was kind of bouncing a bit in bed. So, a normal question for most people would be, "Are you okay?" Apparently for a brief minute I forgot who I was married to, because my wife, in the midst of the Trauma unit, said, "I'm moving and wiggling; it's the only way I can work out." Why I was expecting anything else is beyond me...
So, yes, there have been a few moments of fun and smiling. And today a harpist came in and played a bit of worship music that we both enjoyed. Most of you know my heart for worship music, and this was the moment I thought I would lose it. It wasn't the sound of the instrument--it was the words that went with the music. All hymns. And it wasn't the singing in my head, it was the words being spoken to me...as if they were being confirmed to me. Almost read to me. I love those tender moments of worship. No walls, no distractions. Complete clarity.
Getting back to Laura...the battle is still long. I don't believe we will be leaving the Trauma area for awhile. There is a lot going on all the time. Laura is connected to so many machines. I started with a list of what she was getting and what was being done, but I literally could not keep up. She sometimes gets uncomfortable in a scary way. Like she can't describe what's happening. Other times she just wants a lot of soothing. Her pain is consistent: every 2 hours, and then the routine starts all over again. Lungs, rinse her mouth, take a few pokes for whatever reason, get uncomfortable, get a shot for pain, relax and try to sleep, then back to the lungs. She is extremely tired, so please pray for that. When she wanted her mouth rinsed today I said, "Ok, but no drinking." I want to let you know that your prayers are working because she said, "Jason, you don't understand, I have no desire to drink something." Thank you for those prayers.
Finally - words can not express how I feel about you all. My house was cleaned today by Matt, my family was fed lunch by Suzi, Kathy, and Rebecca. My coffee needs were met by Pritchard and then the Truitt clan. I have been delivered food by Vikki, Michelle, Shalene, and The Kenneys (who are also running the husky!). My church has gotten together on behalf of my wife because one soul named Kristine craved prayer on my behalf, and Holly has been an amazing servant to Laura and me; that has been so vital. I know I am missing things, but when I look at these actions I see worship. I know that's our theme for the year, but that is also the main source of peace in our home. I can't get enough worship. I love to drum (miss it by the way) and am loving the guitar and the vocal stuff. Laura seeks worship for peace and comfort, and my daughter loves to dance during particular songs. And Kaden loves to sing " How great is our God," "He Reigns," and a few others. So my days are usually surrounded by worship, and all of you have made it even more powerful in my life. I hope that these actions change us. Alter all of us in a way that stretches us. Today was a good day, and I know that He will be there tomorrow as well to oversee it. I ask that you all continue to be different and seek Him in a new and scary way. Thank you again for blessing my family. I will talk with you all tomorrow night. J.P.
Today picked up where it left off. Small improvements at a time. Many of you have read what the doctor is describing as a "good guy, bad guy race." Today, he thinks, "we may have reached a point where the two meet." This could last awhile. So, essentially he thinks we may have seen the worst part of the infection IF things remain the same. Now, so much plays into this. If there is another block (which we don't know yet) things could very easily get worse again. The MRCP (which I referred to as an MRI) was inconclusive and will be reassessed in the morning before any decisions are made. Laura will have a chest x-ray in the morning for both her heart and lungs. And her lab work will be done again at 4 a.m., so those things are crucial.
Progress was made today with Laura's lungs. She is stronger, but there is still fluid there so be praying for that. She told me to coach her through the lung exercises today, so that was fun. It did cross my mind if pushing my sick wife in kind of a mean way was bad, but to no surprise of mine Laura said, "Good," as if to coach me. Many of you know this type of Laura! At one point today I was just looking at her and she was kind of bouncing a bit in bed. So, a normal question for most people would be, "Are you okay?" Apparently for a brief minute I forgot who I was married to, because my wife, in the midst of the Trauma unit, said, "I'm moving and wiggling; it's the only way I can work out." Why I was expecting anything else is beyond me...
So, yes, there have been a few moments of fun and smiling. And today a harpist came in and played a bit of worship music that we both enjoyed. Most of you know my heart for worship music, and this was the moment I thought I would lose it. It wasn't the sound of the instrument--it was the words that went with the music. All hymns. And it wasn't the singing in my head, it was the words being spoken to me...as if they were being confirmed to me. Almost read to me. I love those tender moments of worship. No walls, no distractions. Complete clarity.
Getting back to Laura...the battle is still long. I don't believe we will be leaving the Trauma area for awhile. There is a lot going on all the time. Laura is connected to so many machines. I started with a list of what she was getting and what was being done, but I literally could not keep up. She sometimes gets uncomfortable in a scary way. Like she can't describe what's happening. Other times she just wants a lot of soothing. Her pain is consistent: every 2 hours, and then the routine starts all over again. Lungs, rinse her mouth, take a few pokes for whatever reason, get uncomfortable, get a shot for pain, relax and try to sleep, then back to the lungs. She is extremely tired, so please pray for that. When she wanted her mouth rinsed today I said, "Ok, but no drinking." I want to let you know that your prayers are working because she said, "Jason, you don't understand, I have no desire to drink something." Thank you for those prayers.
Finally - words can not express how I feel about you all. My house was cleaned today by Matt, my family was fed lunch by Suzi, Kathy, and Rebecca. My coffee needs were met by Pritchard and then the Truitt clan. I have been delivered food by Vikki, Michelle, Shalene, and The Kenneys (who are also running the husky!). My church has gotten together on behalf of my wife because one soul named Kristine craved prayer on my behalf, and Holly has been an amazing servant to Laura and me; that has been so vital. I know I am missing things, but when I look at these actions I see worship. I know that's our theme for the year, but that is also the main source of peace in our home. I can't get enough worship. I love to drum (miss it by the way) and am loving the guitar and the vocal stuff. Laura seeks worship for peace and comfort, and my daughter loves to dance during particular songs. And Kaden loves to sing " How great is our God," "He Reigns," and a few others. So my days are usually surrounded by worship, and all of you have made it even more powerful in my life. I hope that these actions change us. Alter all of us in a way that stretches us. Today was a good day, and I know that He will be there tomorrow as well to oversee it. I ask that you all continue to be different and seek Him in a new and scary way. Thank you again for blessing my family. I will talk with you all tomorrow night. J.P.
Monday, January 24th
Hello to all of you. Peace and prayer can describe our day. Laura started her journey this morning being transferred to the Trauma unit from the ICU. This was not good news. The details of the day are hard to remember clearly but I will tell you that she is still in very critical condition. When I had to go pick up our children tonight I was miserable. Being a dad to two wonderful little guys while trying to be there for my wife felt like trying to literally split my heart in two. Justin Pritchard: Thank you for your words of encouragement in that moment. I did not know what to do.
Around 7 this evening it was scary for all of us. Laura had fluid in her lungs and she was headed towards needing a respirator. This was not good news either. The day went up and down all day so I will try to get to the current status for you all. Laura and I agreed yesterday that she would rather be told what's going on. So, I left my conversation with the respiratory therapist and walked up to my wife and told her that her health currently revolves around her drive to push her lungs, as well as that if she does not improve a respirator would be necessary, and this is a very bad sign for her. I told her that she is considered very sick.
This is where knowing the depths of how your spouse ticks is so valuable, because it slightly pissed Laura off and she doubled her workout loads on the "stupid machine." Hence, a promised improvement by both her and her respiratory therapist. She has improved in this area as of now. The other major concern is her pancreas. There was no improvement for much of the day, and at one point it was worse. So the doctors gave her a medication around 7 this evening that almost completely shuts down her pancreas. At first, there was no sign of improvement, but then her 8 p.m. lab results came back with a small improvement. The doctor said we have a long way to go but this was a VERY SMALL step in the right direction. We had not heard that yet at all so that was great to hear.
A very specific prayer request from Laura today is that God would remove her thirst. She is not allowed even an ice cube, so she is really wanting something to drink. Her labs will now be taken every 4 hours or so -- so around midnight tonight and so on.
This will not end soon, so please check in with me here, Holly Tomlinson (sister), Kristine Pritchard, or Carrie McChesney. I will post as I have time but will at least attempt my own thoughts every night. We have a long way to go so hang in there with us, and please continue to pray for Laura, Kaitlyn, and Kaden. ALL of you have been amazing. Everything from a great hug and cup of coffee from a trusted friend to the meals for us and a run for and with our husky -- I so appreciate you all. The community surrounding my family is an amazing gift from a Healing God!
I would like to leave you all with some of my own thoughts today that became clear in moments of fear. Currently, I wish I could give my wife a real hug without things and cords in the way. I miss her dearly and am anxious for her return home. She is a rock in our home and I cherish her so much. It seemed so obvious to me today to work for her more, to love on her more, to shower her with prayer more, to stimulate her passions and to honor her in my actions more. We can do these things with our own famliles and with our friends. I will do these things more...join me.
Around 7 this evening it was scary for all of us. Laura had fluid in her lungs and she was headed towards needing a respirator. This was not good news either. The day went up and down all day so I will try to get to the current status for you all. Laura and I agreed yesterday that she would rather be told what's going on. So, I left my conversation with the respiratory therapist and walked up to my wife and told her that her health currently revolves around her drive to push her lungs, as well as that if she does not improve a respirator would be necessary, and this is a very bad sign for her. I told her that she is considered very sick.
This is where knowing the depths of how your spouse ticks is so valuable, because it slightly pissed Laura off and she doubled her workout loads on the "stupid machine." Hence, a promised improvement by both her and her respiratory therapist. She has improved in this area as of now. The other major concern is her pancreas. There was no improvement for much of the day, and at one point it was worse. So the doctors gave her a medication around 7 this evening that almost completely shuts down her pancreas. At first, there was no sign of improvement, but then her 8 p.m. lab results came back with a small improvement. The doctor said we have a long way to go but this was a VERY SMALL step in the right direction. We had not heard that yet at all so that was great to hear.
A very specific prayer request from Laura today is that God would remove her thirst. She is not allowed even an ice cube, so she is really wanting something to drink. Her labs will now be taken every 4 hours or so -- so around midnight tonight and so on.
This will not end soon, so please check in with me here, Holly Tomlinson (sister), Kristine Pritchard, or Carrie McChesney. I will post as I have time but will at least attempt my own thoughts every night. We have a long way to go so hang in there with us, and please continue to pray for Laura, Kaitlyn, and Kaden. ALL of you have been amazing. Everything from a great hug and cup of coffee from a trusted friend to the meals for us and a run for and with our husky -- I so appreciate you all. The community surrounding my family is an amazing gift from a Healing God!
I would like to leave you all with some of my own thoughts today that became clear in moments of fear. Currently, I wish I could give my wife a real hug without things and cords in the way. I miss her dearly and am anxious for her return home. She is a rock in our home and I cherish her so much. It seemed so obvious to me today to work for her more, to love on her more, to shower her with prayer more, to stimulate her passions and to honor her in my actions more. We can do these things with our own famliles and with our friends. I will do these things more...join me.
Sunday, January 23rd
Most of you know that I don't use Facebook, but I thought this would be a good way to use it and share some things. First, let me just say that you have all been amazing. There is no doubt that we are surrounded with His love, and through that love comes all of your friendships. Today has been pretty scary. Laura started with pain in her stomach late last night, and we were up together all night trying to manage the pain. She was very sick and could not walk. At one point she had to crawl to the bed. For those of you who truly know Laura, she is a woman of determination and strength, so for her to give in to pain meant it was intense. My wife continues to impress me on a regular basis. I am so very blessed by her and her heart. So what started out as pain and an apparent problem with her appendix quickly became a very serious, life-threatening condition. We arrived at the ER this morning around 7, and the doctors quickly started to assess Laura's pain. The ER room made decisions as fast as possible to help Laura. Around 10 a.m. we found out that the problem was her pancreas and Laura was not in good shape. She was (and still remains) infected from the damage of her pancreas being blocked by a gallstone. The gallstone has passed, but her condition is still very unstable. She is in ICU and is on antibiotics and pain medication. My understanding of what the doctors have told me is that this type of infection can get better as fast as it can get worse and only time will tell. She will be in the ICU for AT LEAST 3 days, possibly longer. I deeply care for all of you and wanted to address exactly what we need because all of you have been so willing to adjust your lives to love on us. Prayer is the first thing and really the most important. This is what I ask of all of you though; in your quiet time know that God does love you. Also know that He will move with or with out you. I say that because I question my own approach to prayer today. I wonder if I take the time to not just spend a few minutes praying over a cup of coffee but to honestly pour out my soul to a patient God who is so full of Grace? If my wife can crawl to her bed in pain then why can't I crawl to his feet and tell Him that I love Him more often? My journey has been hard, some of you know this, but the end result is my Freedom in Him. I have peace in these times and know that God is in control. I love you all and will try to check in this week. J.P.
Why This Blog Exists
Laura Frederick was stricken with an acute case of Pancreatitis on Saturday, January 22nd and is currently still in the hospital fighting against this infection. Updates on her progress have been appearing on Facebook, but her friends wanted to get the word out to those people who love the Fredericks and do not have access to that site. The posts here are her husband Jason's Facebook updates. All posts are in Jason's words, unless noted otherwise.
The Fredericks had limited healthcare coverage going into this situation, and it will not cover the bills for the kind of care Laura needs to recover and go home. If you would like to help the family by donating any amount toward covering the hospital bills, please use the Paypal donation button on the sidebar. The Paypal account is registered in Jason Frederick's name and is accessible only to him.
On behalf of the Frederick family, thank you for the love and support you have shown during this difficult time.
The Fredericks had limited healthcare coverage going into this situation, and it will not cover the bills for the kind of care Laura needs to recover and go home. If you would like to help the family by donating any amount toward covering the hospital bills, please use the Paypal donation button on the sidebar. The Paypal account is registered in Jason Frederick's name and is accessible only to him.
On behalf of the Frederick family, thank you for the love and support you have shown during this difficult time.
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