The greatest part of today was Laura's strength. She spoke to the kids twice today on the phone, and it was so good to see happy tears. She misses them greatly. She still can't see them until she is moved, which hopefully will be soon. Please continue to pray for her spirit. She is so amazing in her determination but has some very real fear. The doctor told us today a little bad news but a little good news as well.
Once I finally got to the hospital, Dr. Bosco was willing to update us both on the latest. The bit of bad news is that Laura's white blood cell count is continuing to increase. I was under the impression that that was good, but I guess it's not (I have no idea about this stuff). Dr. Bosco thinks this is happening because, as it turns out, Laura had a "pseudocyst" on her pancreas. Apparently, this is rather normal and can go away on it's own, but it's forcing them to wait longer on removing her gallbladder. They want to see Laura's system continue to calm down internally as much as possible before going in there to remove the gallbladder. There is a possibility that they will need to remove the cyst as well, but it's not likely. And there is a lot less fluid overall inside of her, so hopefully they won't need to do any more taps to get rid of it.
So, that information came with some good and bad news. The worst part of it is Laura has done everything she can to be healthy (no surprise for those of you who really know her). You would assume that that is good; however, now Laura has nothing to challenge her physically. Laura loves to be pushed and to compete. It's a quality I think that is really good for the two of us! Well, now the doctor's only prescription is to be patient and rest and allow the body to do what it is going to do. You can now assume the good and bad at the same time...
The bad is, Laura basically cannot push her body to BE healthier. She has already crushed the "stupid machine" that helps her lungs. It's not even a challenge anymore! This will drive Laura crazy. She is looking at an unknown amount of time in front of her, and she can't help speed things up. Well, this leads us to the good. The good thing is obvious. She now has no option but to spend time with her God. My wife does not exactly excel in patience (her words as well, by the way), and she recently told me that she thought God wanted her to grow in this area. Well, the opportunity has presented itself in a way that we did not expect.
Her days will be wrapped in waiting, walking, sleeping, reading, singing, praying and talking. Really nothing else. No food or "work" can be enjoyed. She MUST be still in His trust. As I have said before, Dr. Bosco has made it very clear that this whole process could change again whenever her pancreas freaks out. He is really trying to drive home the idea that we will be there at least a few more weeks. This is so very difficult for all of us. The kids and I miss her so much, and I know many of you do as well.
I was able to spend a lot of time with her today. Since we have cut back to only one person at a time, I have been spending a lot of time trying to juggle who will be going in and for how long. Honestly, Laura runs the show on this. She tells us who she would like to spend some time with and then has a very specific job for that family member. Today though, many of our family members were crushed by realizing that they had to go back to work, so I was there solo for a while today. Again, if I was honest, I would tell you I was a bit lonely. But, when I was in the room with Laura we had some great conversations. We talked about getting down to Yosemite with the kids again soon after this. We talked about how amazing it is to be flooded with blessing after blessing by all of you. We talked about what we could do this week together. I read Ephesians to her. We talked about some worship music (my favorite topic). And she pushed me to spend more time playing worship by myself, realizing that that is what I always need. It's what gives me peace: just me, God, and my guitar. She cried a bit for happy reasons today, and that almost brought me to my knees. Tears of joy are a welcomed thing for us right now. I have been determined to not let her see concern on my face, so the tears are not allowed in my world right now. She said she needs to not see emotions of worry in the room, so I am trying to honor that.
Later in the day her sister came and had a few hours with her, and then her parents followed. I assume this will be what the week looks like. Patience is the precription. We must run to our God and kneel. I am so blessed by the opportunity to be ministered to by my wife. Her heart is flooded with true concern for me. One of our conversations that I will share is that she realized that I feel like I am not leading enough in that room with her. She reminded me that I'm the only person that she just wants in there just to be in there. If we have a moment together, great, but her point was to remind me of my job: "Stand by me, pat my head. I just like knowing that you are here." Wow, I am blessed by all of you, but I am a different man because of God moving through my wife.
Please continue to be in prayer for Laura. She has a long journey ahead of her. She will need strength and peace. Rest and hope. She really wanted me to make sure that she is so thankful for all that is being done. Our laundry is being done (thank you Sarah Lee), bills are being paid by some of you, food to many people involved. The support is endless. She desires to be back soon and is hoping that our faith and support in our communities continues to be strrong.
From both of us, we are so grateful that you love on all of us.
Jason, Laura, Kaitlyn and Kaden.
Love you guys!
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Any encouraging words will be passed on to the Fredericks. Thanks!